Film theory, part one of an occasional series

Let’s say you’ve had an idea for a movie. Let’s say it’s good enough to get the Hollywood suits tossing themselves into a froth over it, and are shovelling spunkfuls of money at you to make it. Let’s say you sort out a crew and a cast and catering, and you get on set, and you panic. The script isn’t strong enough. The cast has too many unknowns. The budget consists of your gran’s Xmas cheque.  You panic, the cast panics, the crew panics, the suits panic, and it’s all going shit-shaped.


My theory is this: If you are convinced that what you’re about to commit to film and display to the world won’t be as good as it can be, then there’s something tried and tested which will work. Hire Randy Quaid. If he can take someone else’s role, get firing. If he can’t, just write him into it. It’ll work out cheaper and easier in the long run.

Randy Quaid has a habit of turning films that would usually be just “bad” into “entertainingly bad”. And I mean that as a compliment. He was the only person who looked like they got the fact that Independence Day was horseshit, and decided to just fucking go for it. While everyone else tried too hard (Will Smith), or didn’t try at all (pretty much everyone else), Randy Quaid aimed his performance at “fucking ridiculous” and nailed it, just like his plane did in the film. The only reason I’ll ever watch that film again is to see his character top himself, and watch Bill Pullman’s face when he realises the only decent part of the film just finished.

On top of that, there’s his run as cousin Eddie in the National Lampoon’s Vacation films. He was the heart of them; you didn’t necessarily have to like Clark Grisowld, but you couldn’t help but like the fat ignorant drunken slob Eddie. The loveable gormelss prick.

Then there’s Days of Thunder, where the film was tiptoeing over the line into cheesy way too much. Randy played his character right down the line, offsetting some of the overdone shite that the script called for from the others. They really did make him look like a monkey fucking a football out there.

Oh, and he was in Kingpin. Which was awesome.

So there you go. He’s been in some of the shittest films ever put on screen, and yet he’s come out of them all smelling of roses. Randy Quaid = legend.


    Randy Quaid is probably the second best Quaid in the world, after Dennis “The” Quaid. He’s better than Doug Quaid from Total Recall though. Pussy.

  • Hehe, I can’t believe you managed to find the one of two posts I’ve done here about films. And Randy Quaid too. Cheers 😀

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