Some thoughts on Bioshock 2, cos I just finished it 5 minutes ago. Spoilers will be liberally thrown all over this post. Whoever came up with the storyline is very clever, and possibly damaged in the head. I like how they’ve got past the “how do we top ‘Would you kindly?’ in this one?” by [...]
Cos, let’s face it, it’ll be the same as last year but with better graphics. Best First Person Puzzle Game: Portal 2 by Valve. It will be amazing, but will be slightly let down by Stephen Merchant’s voice not suiting the game. Random thought while playing – “oh just fuck off, you Barclays-shilling bellend”. Best [...]
Cos you don’t get enough lists at Xmas. Best Game That Is “a bit mental”: Norrland by Cactus. You can download the game from here. There’s also a trailer there, but it’s best to play the game and not know anything about it. Trust me. Oh, and it’s not safe for work or children. Or [...]
Although Desktop Dungeons takes its theme from RPGs, it’s actually closer to a strategy game. You pick a race and class, and begin in a randomised dungeon. You start at level 1, and you have to kill things to level up to take on the level 10 boss. However, when you start the dungeon, you [...]
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is too fast, and Battlefield: Bad Company 2 is too slow, but Call of Duty: Black Ops is just right.
I’ve recently been replaying two real time strategy games (cos somehow I’ve lost my save games for both). Bear in mind, the last time I played one before these was probably the original Red Alert waaaaaaaay back when. And I was terrible at that, too. The two games I got are from the same developer, [...]
When I installed my current graphics card, I had a few problems. Most were dealt with by me being a nosey bastard, but there was two niggling problems left – Peggle and Plants vs Zombies crashed whenever I launched them from Steam. Emailed PopCap’s customer service address, and they replied within a day. A week [...]
How come games are still being released with crash bugs? How come games that have a budget of Russia are still being released with crash bugs? Why does the screen go mental yellow whenever I alt-tab out of the game? Can whoever does the Call of Duty games now please remove the “hunt for the [...]
SWAT 4 is hard. Proper hard. Difficult. Not easy. Each level is a situation where the normal Police can’t get in. You and your men have to get in, subdue all the criminals, subdue all the civilians, and generally make it all safe. You’re given a variety of tools and guns and grenades, you choose [...]
If you want to play SWAT 4 on anything higher than DOS, bear in mind the following points: If you want to skip the intro movies, don’t mouse-click your way through them, press Esc instead. On my Windows 7 64-bit Home Premiumy PC, if I mouse-click though, the game crashes after the intro if you [...]
All games are based on you knowing something, and then acting on that knowledge. Board games such as Chess and Go give you all the information you need to make an educated decision; you can see every piece, you know all the rules, and you can predict the outcome of any given decision. Within reason, [...]
Hmmmmm. Tricky one. A game that is meant to be scary as fuck, which actually isn’t scary in the slightest, and is nearer to Resident Evil than anyone would care to admit, and yet I’m really liking it. I’ve not got very far, but it’s been very enjoyable up to now. Speaking of Resi Evil, [...]
*** SPOILERS FOR FABLE 2 AND 3, THOU HAST BEEN WARNED! ***
The Star Wars trilogy (don’t you dare ask which one, there is only one Star Wars trilogy damnit) can be reduced to the following items:
Star Wars: Bright happy (mostly) universe, bad man messes with the wrong boy, universe is angry, universe and wrong boy beat bad man
Empire Strikes Back: Less bright happy universe, bad man gets badder, bad things happen, not a happy ending
Return of the Jedi: The Care Bears Movie (with happy ending all round)
I haven’t played Fable 1, so it clearly doesn’t count. OK, that’s a lie – I’ve played it for about half an hour, but it hasn’t aged well, and I didn’t like it. The important point to take from this is that “it doesn’t count”.
So! We’ll begin with Fable 2.
From: Ashley Williams Subject: Hiiiiiiiiiiii Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, it’s Ashley here, it was such a long time , how is it going with you there ? I heard that you got a new job, didn’t you? Is everything ok there ? Hey, can you believe it! I got married to Brian ! Yes I did. I tried [...]
Windows 7 re-installed. Minecraft and everything else deleted by accident. Bob fixed it. Minecraft is back! And so are my levels! Panic is now over. (and work on my underwater base has resumed)
So! My main hard drive in my PC decided to start getting errors, which usually means it’s about to die. A quick purchase later (that’s me skint in time for Xmas), and I got a 2TB drive for data and a ickle 30GB SSD drive for the OS. I’ve fucked around enough to need another [...]
I’ve had a couple of blog posts in my head for a while now, and I am promising myself that I will actually type them up at some point. Until then, the awesome filler that is…. MINECRAFT ESCAPADES! Here’s the new map. Looks a bit different to the old one cos the Cartograph program has [...]
Fucking look at this! It is fucking amazing. Thanks to the powers of Cartograph, this is a (vastly cut down) annotated piccy of my current Minecraft world. It’s vastly cut down cos I went exploring in a boat a while back and the map is now huge but I’ve only made stuff on a small [...]
How’s about a platform game (quick, while they’re still back in vogue) whereby you not only jump, but you can put platforms down? So you can put one in front of you, or one two “blocks” above you, and you use these to navigate the level. Each surface you can touch corresponds to a musical [...]
(specifically, Knothole Island and See The Future DLC) I’ve started Knothole Island. Don’t know how, but I seem to have deleted my “good character” save game, so I’m doing this as my evil bastard. The one who ended Fable 2 (spoilers etc) by getting a fuckton of cash and leaving the dog in doggie heaven. [...]
According to Wired and Gamasutra, Jennifer Hale’s performance as the female Commander Sheppard is better than Mark Meer’s performance as the male Commander Sheppard, and players who pick a male Sheppard are missing out. I think there’s a contradiction between the two articles – the Wired piece ties in to the user data Bioware released [...]
….which is possibly my favourite game title of all time, but I digress. Every Extend Extra Extreme (or E4 as I’ll now call it) on the Sexbox 360 is good and bad. My favourite game mode is the default, time limited mode. You’re given 3 minutes to get as high a score as possible. You [...]
Bad news. The game crashed, and it deleted a quarter of my beloved castle. Good news! I rebuilt most of it. Bad news. There’s a section of moat which I can’t ever rebuild; every time I try, I reload the game and it’s gone. Good news! Fuck moats. It’s a wall, with a rollercoaster track [...]
Minecraft (the paid-for, survival, proper game version) has several borrowed mechanisms at its core. There’s the resource gathering and management, which is in every game ever (although the implementation is probably closest to RTS games like Command & Conquer, Dune II, Warcraft 1 & 2 etc). Construction is taken from Lego (I’m sure there’s other [...]
I forgot to post this! Je suis une idiote. http://www.minecraft.net/play.jsp?ip=87.254.83.149&port=25565 That be my server. It isn’t on all the time, but I’ll be on there when it is running. From now on. Woot! This is also a reminder for me to see what Tom wrote in the water, cos he did amusing stuff last night [...]
Last time round, I said I was going to show you the mining part. One thing about Minecraft – just playing around in it gives you ideas on what to do next. I loaded it up with the intention of doing screenshots of the caves, but then I thought that my house was looking a [...]
I was going to do a big thing on Minecraft, about how it’s definitely a game, but it also encourages creativity within the game space like nothing I’ve ever seen, and I was going to add all sorts of buzz words that I would make up to sound like I know what I’m talking about [...]
“Well, the healer is tanking, the tank is doing DPS, the other healer isn’t actually healing anyone and we’re all fucking dead”
Fuck it, I’ll do one of these music things again. My favourite band could be dEUS, Radiohead, Oasis, Pendulum, or some others, depending on when you’d asked me. If it was when I was 10, the answer would have been INXS. If you’re asking me now, it’s Doves. You know when a band releases a [...]
Right. Just Cause 2 is a game set in a sizeable archipelago of islands. You can hop from one to the other to steal resources, blow things up, and then move on. Carrier Command on the Amiga was a game set in a sizeable archipelago of islands. You could hop from one to the other [...]
I’ve got into two betas at the moment. The games in question rhyme with Greed for Tweed* and Pedal of Goner*. I’ve put an hour into the Swede for Steed beta, and it’s kinda what you think it would be like. Big ass city you can tear around, queue for races with other players (or [...]
We’re meant to remember the details. Where were you when you fell in love? When was it? What did you say? Personally, I’m terrible at details. I’m good at big ideas, hopeless at the finer points. And my memory is generally shot to hell. I can’t remember where I was when I first saw Consolevania [...]
Last agency mission in Just Cause 2. I accept it, and it says I’m finally going to kill that bastard Baby Panay. I’ll need the help of one of the three factions, so I should choose one to help me in the end game….. THREE factions?! There’s two! There’s only ever been two! I check [...]
Imagine the pre-credits sequence of any James Bond film. Imagine playing it in a game; every last-second dive from a falling car, every lazy parachute gliding away from an explosion, everything that made the first five minutes of James Bond movies awesome, all done by button presses that you made happen. That’s Just Cause 2, [...]
Sandbox games usually have a problem – they tend to need to appear realistic and grounded, and yet they also need to enable the player to go over the top and be excessive. A dichotomy, if you will (checks dictionary.com; that’ll do). Grand Theft Auto 4 leaned heavily towards realism; if you wanted to go [...]
In between doing all sorts of daft shit in World of Warcraft, I’ve finally managed to get stuck into Just Cause 2. Just Cause 2 is a game in which the following things are guaranteed to happen (and not necessarily in this order): You see a car go past, and with one button press your [...]
…. fuck all. OK, WoW has been the only thing I’ve played for ages now. Level 78, don’t’cha know? Also, other stuff. And I’m still gagging to get my teeth into Just Cause 2 properly, and Sins of a Solar Empire, and the other bajillion games I’ve recently bought for £4 each which are sitting [...]
World of Warcraft. Lots of it. Heaps. Tons. Stacks. I’ve been riding the wave of obsession / apathy towards the game since I started playing; I’ll obsess over it for a few months, get bored and leave it for a few months, rinse and repeat. I was finally talked into going back due to a [...]
“don’t start that healer shit you twat or I’ll kick ya now hurry up” “oh dear you died lol” repeat until fade I sometimes forget why I started playing WoW. After all, it can be a bit shallow and repetitive. The main reason I like it is that guild chat is essentially a chat room. [...]
Had a nice little surprise when I fired up Steam this evening – there’s a new beta version of Counter-Strike:Source available. After installing it, I had a little trouble with the graphics settings, and the mouse settings, and I’d forgotten how to buy weapons and armour, but all that was swiftly resolved. MP5 in hand [...]
http://www.zombie-cow.com/?page_id=807
Fuck, I’ll have to buy a PS3 now.
I’m going to let you into a secret. Ready? Team Fortress 2 is the first person shooter equivalent of World of Warcraft. This isn’t opinion here. This is scientific fact. Kind of. TF2 is as close as you are going to get in the FPS stylee for now (not counting the horrible and practically unplayable [...]
Hello! For the record, I’ve not turned this blog into a linkdump. I’m merely waiting for inspiration to strike. I’m also waiting to break in my new keyboard, so that it actually types what I want it to, and not the general mash of keys my fat fingers aim at. For anyone who gives a [...]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ai8QbNUyW_k This looks ACE.
http://www.hiwiller.com/2010/04/29/if-mario-was-designed-in-2010/
I started playing it again this week. Joined a guild on a new server; some old mates, lots of new people. Observations up to now: You can really blast through the early stuff quickly these days. You can kill stuff a lot higher level than you, and quite comfortably too. Hunters are fucking ace once [...]
I hope! Just read the making of God of War in an old back issue of Edge. David Jaffe says something along the lines of “I watch Casablanca and I wonder how we’re going to makes games as affecting for so long, to give the player such long-lasting memories”. I’d quote verbatim, but I’ve left [...]
Fuck orders, I’m skipping this song thing like a motherfucker. Even though I got bored of it. Ha! Everyone is different. And yet, everyone wants to be the same. It’s a constant since caveman times, although back then it was a necessity – groups live longer than individuals. This has become communities. People want to [...]
You’d have thought I’d have learned the first time, eh? Started watching Moon again. Weird but good film, but weird. But good. Anyway, one of them things I don’t usually notice, but did tonight, is there’s a fucking lovely shot when Sam Rockwell is waking up. He’s lying down, and the camera is tight in [...]
Fuck. I hate stuff like this. You find something out, and it’s clever and funny and sweet and daft and ace. But, it’s also kind of a spoiler. As in, stumbling across it made it awesome. So for anyone who may have recently come across the game and is playing through it obsessively (just like [...]
I loved the original Left 4 Dead. Went through it a fair few times. Loved the atmosphere, loved the fact it could shit me right up, loved it. Then I put it to one side, as you do. Re-installed it the other week and fired it up again, and lo and behold! Free DLC stuff! [...]
And that’s enough of the music posts. Bored. Onwards!
I’ve kind of already done this one in day one, but I’ll do it again with a different song. Also, behind-the-scenes spoiler alert – I don’t exactly post these stories every day. Also, I’m writing most of them in advance and posting them on the day I’m meant to. Also – I had stories for [...]
Kevin Costner is underrated. IMHO etc. OK, so there was Waterworld (which wasn’t that bad, or gets points for being so bad it’s good at least), and The Postman (which was just weird). I know there’s others, but I can’t be fucked thinking of them. Anyways, the point is that he’s made some shite films. [...]
This one will be easy. I can never settle on music playing software on my PC. I keep trying Winamp, but it’s too fiddly and stuffed with a bajillion options. And I can never pick just one skin for it, I have to have forty eight on the go and choose between them every five [...]
What the fuck?! Least favourite song? Jeeeeebus. OK, so I’m back to the same problem as I had with “your bestest song ever made ever innit”. How the fuck do you choose? I hate most of music. 99.99999% of it. Does nothing for me. That’s why I cherish the music that does something for me. [...]
I don’t have one. Absolutely seriously don’t. The thing that’s been putting me off doing this 30 days of music thing the most is this question. No clue as to how to answer it. I mean, there’s infinite criteria. You could go on and on justifying one over another. I’ve been stuck picking a reason [...]
(blatantly stolen from love & zombies, via Kieron Gillen’s Workblog) 30 Days of Music day 01 – your favorite song day 02 – your least favorite song day 03 – a song that makes you happy day 04 – a song that makes you sad day 05 – a song that reminds you of someone [...]
This is one of them things where you play it and the central mechanic sinks in and you are amazed that no-one has done it before (or if they have, I’ve not seen it). A fine way to spend five minutes. http://gamejolt.com/online/games/platformer/specter-spelunker-shrinks/1865/
Well! Having been floored by a flawed but also brilliant first game, I had high hopes for the second one. Edge gave it 9 out of 10, IIRC. Edge! A nine! They mean business! Sequels are a chance to take what was good about the previous game and polish it like fuck. They’re also a [...]
(I was all set to do a massive post about Mass Effect 2, but I just couldn’t be fucked, so this will have to do for now) Batman Arkham Asylum is like Splinter Cell mixed with God of War, but set in a sinister as fuck mental asylum, but it has Batman in it. GOOD [...]
Well, there’s no use crying over every mistake. Portal had an ambiguous ending, which at the time led to all sorts of speculation. Is she dead? Is she alive? Things like that? The game has been patched twice this week. First time, you now get an achievement for carrying a radio through the game and [...]
Right. I’ve now finished this as both a goody bloke and an absolute arsehole. The reason I bought this game (and stuck with the shitty opening stretch) is that Mass Effect 2 is getting really good reviews, and it does something a bit different. It detects your saved games from the first game, and things [...]
I don’t talk about films on here very often, cos over a long period of time I’ve grown to like games more than films. Sometimes, I get an itch that a game can’t scratch. Sometimes I just wanna sit the fuck down without a keyboard being stuck to my lap. Most times, when I eat, [...]
Modern popular are (generally) not the creation of one person. Modern popular games are mostly made by teams which can number in the hundreds. When you look at a game, everything you can see was made by someone. The music was written and recorded and compressed and inserted into the game by people. People programmed [...]
I realised the other day that Borderlands is like raiding in World of Warcraft (or any other MMORPG, I’d imagine). Well, it’s like raiding without the tactics. And without thirty six other people. And in first person. With guns. What carries over is the stress. You worry that you’re in the wrong place. You’ve got [...]
I know this metaphor has been done before (and by vastly better writers than me), but it’s so very apt for Mass Effect. It’s like an abusive relationship – you stick with it for the occasional flash of happiness, but you have to go through so much shit to get to it. Starts off slow. [...]
Hi, my name is Ben, and I got fed up of playing shit games all the time, so I actually went and made one. My best friend’s band split up very recently, and so I decided to use this as a basic for my first game. This is what happened. What Went Right 1. Keep [...]
Yep, I finally got one. I have a total of three games for it – Wii Sports (came with it), Wii Sports Resort Sports (came with it as well), and Metroid Prime Trilogy. Out of the three, I’ve played Metroid Prime Trilogy, cos I actually wanted to play it. Started with Metroid Prime. The problem [...]
FINALLY got on Borderlands multiplayer last night. I could have gone on with randoms, but I wanted to wait until I could get on with chums. Chums tend to let you off for thieving everything really quick (like I did all night, sorry). So! Differences – the game is harder. Scales well, but the increase [...]
This New Year, I packed up my trusty old PS2 and took it round to the girlfriend’s house. Haven’t played it in a year or so, got a few games left for it which I haven’t completed, one of which being the first God of War game. I’d left it saved just over the half [...]