This is one of them things where you play it and the central mechanic sinks in and you are amazed that no-one has done it before (or if they have, I’ve not seen it). A fine way to spend five minutes.

http://gamejolt.com/online/games/platformer/specter-spelunker-shrinks/1865/

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Well! Having been floored by a flawed but also brilliant first game, I had high hopes for the second one. Edge gave it 9 out of 10, IIRC. Edge! A nine! They mean business!

Sequels are a chance to take what was good about the previous game and polish it like fuck. They’re also a chance to take what was shite about the previous game and fix it or replace it with something better. Bioware, bless them, seem to have taken what was good and changed it, not always for the better. They’ve also taken what was shite, and replaced it with slightly different shite. Note – I’ve avoided spoilers about ME2 in this write-up. I’ve not avoided any about the first game though.

The first game had a fucking good story, interesting characters, and some good, hard choices to make. Most of these come across to the second game. Literally, if you load a completed ME1 save into ME2. I’ve done this with my good player character and completed the game, and I’ve started on replaying ME2 with my bad player character save. I know enough to give a half-decent judgement on the sequel. I think.

So! The game has an awesome beginning. Like, really really good awesome. It introduces you to most of the main cast early on, and they’re great. One of the big problems for me with the first game was Deanna Troi lending her voice to one of the characters. She died halfway through the game (SPOILER! Sorry), but by Christ she is shite in a voice booth. Terrible. Maybe she was asked to do too much, maybe the technology or skill isn’t in the game industry yet to do a decent character death scene. I don’t know. Acutally, fuck that, I do. Saren’s death (ANOTHER SPOILER! Also sorry) was done brilliantly. Anyways, I digress.

The characters in Mass Effect 2 are exceptionally good. No idea as to how Bioware managed to coax so many very good performances out of so many people, but they nailed it, as American people like to say. Honestly, there’s not one person that hasn’t been, as far as video games go, given a decent role to play and got it spot on. Following each character’s individual plotline, and seeing some of their reactions to the main plotline, has been a pleasure. Proper decent dramatic entertainment.

One of the strengths of the first game was the story, which was original and intelligently handled. The story continues in the second game, and has a few good twists and turns (who are the Collectors? what the fuck are the Big Bad Space Bastards (ah! I just remembered what they’re really called! Reapers! Fuck it, Big Bad Space Bastards stays) up to this time? why the fuck does President Bartlett, AKA Charlie Sheen’s dad, care anyway?). Buuuut, just as it gets to the end, it goes a bit daft. A little bit. Enough to make a sarky bastard like me hate it. Your mileage may vary. I thought it was fucking retarded, and a damn shame.

So, good characters, and a plot which stays really good up until the shite end. OK, what else? Well, most of the time you’ll be shooting shit up. The combat in the first game felt weak. Right up until the end, when you were a death dealing bastard from Hell, but mostly it felt weak. For the second game, they’ve beefed it right up. Weapons feel punchy and satisfying, you’re forced to use different tactics more often, and it’s generally more engaging than the first game. The only downside, and it can be quite a big and / or recurring downside depending on how you want to play the game, is that they’ve introduced ammo. As in, you can run out of it. And have to pick it up off corpses. If you have a favourite weapon, you’re gonna run out of ammo. If you’re not very good at the game, this will happen more often than not, and then you’ll be forced to use a gun you don’t like, and then you’ll die. This can be frustrating as fuck, along with the occasionally obligatory ammo hunt during or after each battle. The fact that you can use your biotic powers too helps slightly. Slightly.

The side quests for each character carry over from the first game. These are fucking brilliant in places, a teensy bit stupid in others. There’s a character who may or may not be downloadable content called Zaeed (I got most of the DLC with my copy, so I don’t know if it is optional or not) whose side quest is a bit pants. This one stands out though, cos the others are so good. The others are all separate stories, and they’re all done really well.

The Galaxy map carries over from the first game too, but even that has changed.  No more clicking on a planet to fly to it; now you have to pilot a mini spaceship across the map with the WASD keys. You also have to buy fuel to reach other star systems; if you run out whilst out exploring, the ship eats your precious reserves of minerals (used to upgrade weapons and combat powers). This change from the original game is fucking pointless. Why give the customer a galaxy to explore, and then potentially punish them for exploring? What purpose does this serve, exactly? I believe there’s other quests and things to find on the other planets. I wouldn’t know though, cos I’m not going near them. I’d rather not risk the minerals.

So once you’ve got to a planet, you can either land on it (for a side quest, but no more bouncy Big Trak style Mako!), or scan it for minerals. This opens up the mining game, where you feel your way around a planet’s surface for minerals (probably not as creepy as it sounds). This game boils down to watching a line graph as you move the mouse around – when the line graph goes up, retrace your mouse movements, find where the graph spike occurred, click on the spike, and you get minerals. To reiterate – you watch a line graph. Possibly for minutes at a time. This is as fun as it sounds.

I’ve done my usual thing here. I’ve been negative as fuck most of the way through my write-up, and then I’ll go “ah, but it’s not that bad” at the end. Because Mass Effect 2 really isn’t that bad. Like I said, the story is good until near the end, the characters are excellent company right the way through, the side quests are well worth doing, and the combat isn’t shite. There’s hours and hours of really good entertainment in this game. Only problem is there’s little bits of annoying thrown in there too. Not enough to put anyone off the game, but enough to taint the game. The first game was really good, but flawed, and this continues with the second. Put it this way – I’m still really looking forward to the third game, in a big way.

Oh, and the last boss in Mass Effect 2? I’m sure I’ve seen that in a shoot ‘em up game on the Super Nintendo years and years ago. Fucking sure of it. If I find it, I’ll stick a piccy up of it.

EDIT – I forgot something. Mass Effect 1 had an awesome synth soundtrack, one which complemented the clean and sheen-y sci-fi look. Mass Effect 2 has a shitty orchestral soundtrack. Mass Effect 1 (slight spoiler) has an awesome song at the end of it, which fit with the game’s soundtrack as a whole. Mass Effect 2 has a shitty orchestral instrumental track. Why change something which helps their game stand out from the rest? I don’t know. I’m hoping they find a way to mix the two in the last game in a way which makes sense. That would be nice.

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(I was all set to do a massive post about Mass Effect 2, but I just couldn’t be fucked, so this will have to do for now)

Batman Arkham Asylum is like Splinter Cell mixed with God of War, but set in a sinister as fuck mental asylum, but it has Batman in it.

GOOD THINGS ABOUT BATMAN ARKHAM ASYLUM: Most of it. Most of it is good things. The combat is satisfying, it walks the fine line between being skillful and button-mashing. The stealthy stuff is pretty fucking good (although I’m shit at it cos I just want to hit stuff). There’s billions of secrets to find, which means you’ve got stuff to do if you ever get bored of hitting things or stealthing things. There’s a really good “feel” to the game; the look of it takes more from the comics and cartoons than the films, the voice actors are mostly from the cartoons (or so I’m told, I wouldn’t have a fucking clue), and there’s been an extra helping of “sinisteryness” thrown in there too. Hard to pin down, but there’s times where it feels darker and more serious than it actually is, and this draws you in even more.

BAD THINGS ABOUT BATMAN ARKHAM ASYLUM: There’s four boss battles in the game, one of which is repeated, erm, repeatedly, throughout the game (with an even more annoying twist for each repetition). Killer Croc, who is shown right at the start and looks like an awesome motherfucker to fight, turns out to have the weakest section in the game. And you don’t actually fight him. When you die, the game loads a lengthy soundbite from one of the main villains, and you have to wait for it to finish before it’ll display the retry / quit menu. This is very annoying. The game tries to put a spin on things you’re comfortable with as you go along; some of them really work (boobytrapping the gargoyles was good, cos it forced you to take on more risk), some of them don’t (the psycho raving loonies – I think they’re meant to rush you, but hammering the punch button when they get near and performing a takedown gets rid of them very quickly and easily).

UGLY THINGS ABOUT BATMAN ARKHAM ASYLUM: I’m still amazed at the Joker’s face. He’s got ninety seven teeth in his upper jaw, and when he smiles you can see them all. It’s mental because it’s clearly bollocks, and yet I didn’t notice it until near the end of the game. And now that I have, I can’t look at the fucker without pitying his dentist bills.

OVERALL: Final Fight – Haggar + Batman + Splinter Cell + Luke Skywalker = Batman Arkham Asylum

IF I GAVE OUT MARKS OUT OF TEN LIKE IN MAGAZINES AND THINGS: 8/10 (entertaining as fuck while it lasts (even though I haven’t got past that fucking bit with the two Titans and the billions of dudes yet))

(Oh, and one of them 8 imaginary points is for the bit with the billion dudes with the party hats. I got to that and thought “cheeky fuckers!”, and then realised I could hit one of them…. yep, that deserves one imaginary point at least)

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Well, there’s no use crying over every mistake. Portal had an ambiguous ending, which at the time led to all sorts of speculation. Is she dead? Is she alive? Things like that?

The game has been patched twice this week. First time, you now get an achievement for carrying a radio through the game and finding where the radio static turns into sounds. These sounds have since been found to be images encoded as sounds, or something equally wtf. The images are a bit odd and open to interpretation. Also, one of the images led to a BBS board in the US which revealed some more info and images. Also open to interpretation.

This morning, Valve have been a bit more explicit. They’ve changed the ending to the game. If you want to see it, look for it on YouTube. Or finish the game again. You’ll be glad you did.

This is going to end in happy geeky tears of joy!

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