Apr 29
2010

I started playing it again this week. Joined a guild on a new server; some old mates, lots of new people. Observations up to now:

  • You can really blast through the early stuff quickly these days.
  • You can kill stuff a lot higher level than you, and quite comfortably too.
  • Hunters are fucking ace once you get your pet at level 10.
  • Weird playing a game that has changed so much. If I pull more than one mob at a time, I keep expecting to have a real fight on my hands. It’s taking getting used to it being a piece of piss.

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Apr 18
2010

I hope!

Just read the making of God of War in an old back issue of Edge. David Jaffe says something along the lines of “I watch Casablanca and I wonder how we’re going to makes games as affecting for so long, to give the player such long-lasting memories”. I’d quote verbatim, but I’ve left the magazine in the toilet and I can’t be arsed getting up again (thanks, Jack Daniels).  Bear with me, cos it has been over ten years since I saw Casablanca, but if I remember correctly, it’s about the main character having to break his principles to save the person he loves.

If there’s one thing games love to give the player, in a way, it is rules. As in, “you can do this and that, but don’t do that or go there because you will break the game or the story or your immersion”. Examples of “wrong things to do in games” – finding the invisible walls which hem you into a linear section of a game, shooting at the characters you’re not supposed to shoot, purposely putting your non-player team mates in the line of fire. There are thousands more.

Why do developers try to prevent you, the player from doing this? Because it breaks the story they have set out for you. For your entertainment. Even though, you are the one who is trying to entertain themselves in their virtual theme park. They say “no, this is the story that you paid for, and if you do that you are jepoardising it, so we will do this instead”. You are, in essence, trying to break the principles of the developers.

Now, this may be entering the territory of the future, where computers themselves write most of the software, which is directed by human hands and minds, but fuck it. Why not incorporate these things into your story? Have these designers and creators not played Dungeons and Dragons (I haven’t, yet, but it’s my point, so I’m using it)?I know you can’t plot for every interaction a human player could possibly think of, but then again, you fucking can, you lazy bastards. There’s a point and click adventure game called Time, Gentlemen Please. The creators have written responses for using anything with anything else in the game, pretty much. Unique responses. In a cartoony point and click adventure game, but they did it.

There’s a game in development called LA Noire, by a developer called Team Bondi, headed by a man called Brendan MacNamara. Now, Mr MacNamara has proven to be a bit tasty with hyperbole (see: his previous games, the Getaway series, the first of which I really loved as being a flawed game with slices of genius). This game was in Edge, and Mr MacNamara claimed to have written a script for the game which was 20,000 pages long. Since the publication of this issue of the magazine, Mr MacNamara has stated to various websites that this was a misprint, and that the actual amount of pages is 2,000. Fair enough. It’s still fucking big.

But. But! What if it was 20,000 pages long? What if it let you shoot anyone? What if it tried to account for every action you could do? Bored in a mission? Fuck off and do something else in the game! Don’t worry, the detective case you were working on will be solved incorrectly by your subordinates and innocent people will go to jail. BUT THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES FURTHER DOWN THE LINE. Why? Cos the game knows you could have stopped the real criminal, but you wanted to steal a flash car and piss around instead.

Let people do what they want. And instead of trying to shepherd them into doing what you want them to do, just punish them for it. Punish them within the fiction you’ve already made. Who knows? Maybe then they’ll take it seriously. And play it again. And want to do it the way you wanted them to do it. And maybe, just maybe, they’ll want to go against their own principles, because it felt like the right thing to do. And if you are a good enough writer, you’ll know that they’ve done it, for that reason they have thought of, and you can write them a conclusion for that.

Take as many pages as you need. I’ll play it.

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Apr 17
2010

Fuck orders, I’m skipping this song thing like a motherfucker. Even though I got bored of it. Ha!

Everyone is different. And yet, everyone wants to be the same. It’s a constant since caveman times, although back then it was a necessity – groups live longer than individuals. This has become communities. People want to be a part of a community. And yet, they also want to stand out within that community. It’s a dichotomy. You can’t stand out while blending in.

As much as this may describe me, it will also describe you. And everyone. Especially where the internet is concerned. You have an opinion and a voice and fingers. You want to contribute to your favourite site or forum or Facebook or Twitter, but you don’t just want to repeat what everyone else is saying. You want to stand out, even though you’re only going to get the same little paragraph as everyone else. You re-tweet what you think your friends will like, but then you’ll itch to post something yourself, to put your stamp on things. To let people know that you were there.

Everything I ever say or do is along these lines. I want to stand out, but only within my close circle of friends, and only if it doesn’t upset any of them. The rare time something I’ve done or said has upset a true friend, I’ve either fervently believed I was in the right and stood my ground, or I’ve backed down at a rapid rate of knots because I’ve known I was wrong in the first place. Or I’ve backed down to save their feelings, because, to quote George Clooney in From Dusk Til Dawn, “I may be a bastard, but I’m not a fucking bastard”. Sometimes I need to hide in the middle. Sometimes I’m happy to blend in, right up to the point where I feel I’m being lost in the crowd. And then I push back.

So a song that describes me then. A song that encapsulates the most obvious personality traits I have, that shows what people may perceive to be bravery is actually tons of fear, would have to be Radio Protector by 65daysofstatic. An instrumental, but never to be listened to in the background. A blend of all sorts, and yet very distinct. An epic that is fragile round the edges. The kind of thing I’d love to get my friends to play, but they wouldn’t, because I’m the only person I know who likes the song. Because I’m different.

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Apr 16
2010

You’d have thought I’d have learned the first time, eh?

Started watching Moon again. Weird but good film, but weird. But good. Anyway, one of them things I don’t usually notice, but did tonight, is there’s a fucking lovely shot when Sam Rockwell is waking up. He’s lying down, and the camera is tight in on his face, and focused on his eyes blinking. Then the focus goes over to his mouth as his face moves, and then goes back to his eyes as he talks for the first time. Weird thing. No idea as to how you get a camera to focus on different bits like that, without physically moving the camera. If it’s done with the lens, that’s skillful as fuck. If it’s a CGI cheat, then I’m also impressed, but not as much, cos it’s cheating.

I’ve forgotten just how good this film is.

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Apr 15
2010

Fuck. I hate stuff like this. You find something out, and it’s clever and funny and sweet and daft and ace. But, it’s also kind of a spoiler. As in, stumbling across it made it awesome. So for anyone who may have recently come across the game and is playing through it obsessively (just like me!), here’s a “as spoiler-free as I can possibly make it” guide as to how to find this little slice of entertainment.

Somewhere in Left 4 Dead 2, there is a song by Jonathan Coulton (and if you are aware of his work, it won’t be hard to guess which song). If you find it, don’t move. Just before it plays the chorus, look out the window.

I died (virtually, in the game) from laughing (out loud, in real life). Valve, they’re fucking clever :D

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Apr 14
2010

I loved the original Left 4 Dead. Went through it a fair few times. Loved the atmosphere, loved the fact it could shit me right up, loved it. Then I put it to one side, as you do. Re-installed it the other week and fired it up again, and lo and behold! Free DLC stuff! A new campaign and a new Survival mode! Tore through the new campaign (a lovely set-piece at the end of it, but a bit understated when put next against the other ending set-pieces, but a nice change all the same), then ploughed a few hours into the Survival mode. Now this was something special – you get locked into a largeish room (depending on the map used), and start a clock ticking upwards. You have to survive for as long as you can, while the computer hurls wave after wave of zombies and special infected after you. Fucking ace.

Then, after having so much of a good time with Survival mode in the original game, I had the nerve to go and buy the second game. I’d played it round a chum’s house a few weeks back, and liked it. Wasn’t on it for long, but it let me decapitate zombies with an axe. This was good.

The trouble with Left 4 Dead 2 is that it almost spoils the first one. When you think back on the first game, you remember how dour the whole thing was, how the occasional scripted comedy dialogue just didn’t come often enough to enliven the experience. How it was always fucking relentlessly dark and foreboding (and that look can only forebode for so long, after which point it becomes just dark). Most of all, you realise there were no melee weapons in it.

Because if anything makes Left 4 Dead 2 one of the best gaming sequels ever made (yeah Half-Life 2, you heard), it’s the melee weapons. And the melee weapons are a big part of the new thing that’s been added to the original Left 4 Dead formula – FUN (with capital letters, no less). Fucking hell, this game is fun. Funny too, but fun. That sinking feeling you’d get when joining a game in the first one, just knowing that no matter how hard you try, you’re not going to survive the ending to No Mercy? None of that. In the sequel, I don’t give a shit if I live or die, so long as I can behead a bajillion zombies along the way. With a cricket bat.

What, you don’t get the very obvious reference to Shaun of the Dead? Or you don’t like the cricket bat? What about a crowbar, just like Gordon Fucking Freeman? How’s about a fire axe, like what firemen have? Or a samurai sword? Or what looks like an Ibanez guitar? Would you like to run the entire length of a rollercoaster, doing nothing but smacking zombies in the face repeatedly with an electric guitar, while each hit greets you with another comedy guitar-string-twang sound?

There’s also new characters this time round. There’s Nick, the dodgy looking capitalist white boy scum who just looks like he’s gonna run off with the car and leave the rest to die, and gets all the best lines. There’s also Coach, a big black guy with a bald head and a soft spot for the funfair he used to go to as a kid. They are joined by Rochelle, a black reporter who makes a few references to Anchorman, and Ellis, the beer-loving hick comedy sidekick. When you’re playing, they speak a lot more than the first game’s characters did, and their more frequent bursts of humour make them a very likeable bunch.

And you’ll be hearing a lot from them, cos they’re going all over the place. I’ve only managed to get through the first two campaigns up to now (I was obsessed with getting the Gong Show achievement), but these two campaigns alone are more memorable than any the first game had. The opening section in the hotel is just brilliant; quickly explaining the melee mechanic for new players as well as a few of  the new items, it also introduces you to the fact that the way ahead might not be so obvious (the first floor of the hotel is on fire, so you can’t see very far in front of you). This campaign culminates in a frantic race to fill a car’s petrol tank with gas canisters before the zombies overrun your position, and this section is nail-bitingly tense. It also introduces you to the new Salvage mode too, which is also handy.

The second campaign leads you off a highway, through a hotel, and into a funfair. The Whispering Oaks funfair is ace, because it introduces some more melee weapons (and occasionally the chainsaw, which is as much fun as it was waaaay back when in Doom), some more zombie types (clown zombies! The other zombies are attracted to their squeaking footwear! GENIUS), and some nicely hidden-in-plain-sight mini-games. Whack a mole! Test your strength! Shooting gallery! You’re running through a funfair away from a zombie horde, but you can stop to play Whack a mole! Fucking awesome. This campaign ends at a stadium where a band was due to perform; you have to switch on the light show and pyrotechnics to attract the rescue helicopters, while fighting off the zombie masses who see it from miles around. I’ve never grinned so hard at a game as when I found you could push the zombies into the fireworks to burn them up, or shoot a box of fireworks to blow them up. Much more awesomer than I can make it sound.

One of the big departures from the first one is the colour palette. It has one! The first game had black. That was pretty much it, cos it was relentlessly bleak. And set at night. All the time. Whereas the sequel is set at different times of day. So the opening campaign is set in the afternoon, the second one at night (but nowhere near as dark as the first game). This makes a subtle difference, but it’s felt more than you’d think. The technique the first game had was that reloading would move your gun out the way, and since your flashlight is taped to your gun, then your only light source is gone – you would be staring at a black screen for a second or two. Designed to put the shits up you, it happened so often that the repetition stopped it being scary. In the second game, you can see the zombies without the flashlight. Sure, you won’t see them as well, and you’ll miss some, but this won’t happen often. Which means, when you do reload and a zombie happens to be staring at you when the flashlight goes back, you are scared more often because the device isn’t used as much. Win!

Like I said, Left 4 Dead 2 makes you look back at the original and remember the flaws. Character flaws I suppose, and not structural ones, but still flaws. Left 4 Dead 2 has none of them. What it does have is a sense of creativity and fun that the first game sorely lacked. It keeps surprising you, and it makes you smile. It’s more Dawn of the Dead than Night of the Living Dead. Sure, some people prefer the black and white original, and fair play to them. Me? I prefer seeing zombies getting beheaded. In colour.

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Apr 14
2010

And that’s enough of the music posts. Bored. Onwards!

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Apr 10
2010

I’ve kind of already done this one in day one, but I’ll do it again with a different song.

Also, behind-the-scenes spoiler alert – I don’t exactly post these stories every day. Also, I’m writing most of them in advance and posting them on the day I’m meant to. Also – I had stories for this week all lined up, but due to people fucking up the family PC by accident, and due to someone being an intolerable arsehole to the mother of my semi-step-daughter (which is a longer story than it should be), and due to today being LASAGNE FRIDAY!!!, and due to me getting home a couple of hours ago with a bottle of Jack and a bottle of Coke and drinking said Jack and Coke until now, well, my planned schedule has gone out the window. So, this is me being hammered and truthful and live, instead of the pre-written stuff.

A song that reminds me of someone. Hmmmm. Pretty much every song I like reminds me of someone, or something involving someone somewhere. Most of the time, that’s why I like music. It reminds me of something or someone. Now though, I have to choose a track what isn’t Where Is My Mind by the Pixies, which is my kind of obvious retrospective choice.

When in doubt – fire up the “FUCK IT” playlist in iTunes and see where it lands. And ooh, this is a good ‘un.

So – picture the scene. I’ve gone round my ex-girlfriend’s house to see the semi-step-nipper. I lived with the semi-step-nipper for long enough to know she’s awesome, and if I was ever foolish to unleash my sperms onto unfertilised eggs, I’d hope and pray they eventually grew up to be half as awesome as she is, hence me going round there while her mum’s new boyfriend is there. It’s a bit weird, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. I know my place. What I didn’t know is that my ex’s brother was there. I entertain the semi-step-nipper (I know my place), and the ex’s boyfriend goes out for the evening. Eventually, the nipper’s bed time arrives and she goes to bed. By this time, I’ve tucked into some beers with the ex’s brother, and we’re having a giggle. The ex was testing some IP TV thing at the time, so she got free films through the TV. She fucks off to bed, and I stay up with her brother. He’s flicking through the channels, and I see a film I’ve heard of.

Anyone who knows me will recognise this. This is the moment where I know the tiniest morsel of fact about something I want to see, and will expand it beyond all reason in order to secure a viewing. One of the frequent bouts of trying to get my own way. I am unapologetic, because if you know what I’m on about, you have known me long enough to accept it. Haha! Fuck you. Anyway, the film in question is called Southland Tales, by the guy who made Donnie Darko. Donnie Darko confused the shit out of me until I went through the website and pieced together the plot, and then I loved it. However, I considered this to be an experience I’d only go through once – if a film needs a fucking website to make sense, then it’s not doing its job.

So, me and my ex’s brother watched Southland Tales. We weren’t as drunk as I am now (which is a lot, cos I tripped over a door on my way to the PC about fifteen minutes ago), but we had been caning the beers. This turned out to be a blessing, cos the film didn’t need a website to explain the story, it needed three comics (which I now have). Being hammered helped us ignore the shit we didn’t understand, and got us both through to the end, where it abandons all sense and goes mental (although now I know what it means, thanks to the comics). The film ends, and we both turn to each other at exactly the same time and say “what the fuck was all that about?”. We then proceeded to have the longest conversation we’d ever had, about what the film was about, whether it was any good, whether we’d want to watch it all again, and why have we ran out of beer?

Next day, there’s three things I remember from the night before. 1 – I saw the most mental film I’d ever seen the night before, 2 – the bit where they get into their cars as dusk settles to the tune of Blackout by Muse is fucking beautiful, and 3 – there was a live version of Planet Telex by Radiohead in there somewhere. Seriously, fuck the plot and the characters and everything – there was a Radiohead live version I’d never heard before. In a film. I don’t forget Radiohead lightly.

Eventually, I get hold of a copy of the soundtrack. I listen to it, and it’s a thing of beauty. A few Moby B-sides (cos he made the soundtrack), and a lot of Moby-style trance stuff, and a load of proper songs, one of which is a live version of Planet Telex by Radiohead.

And what does this remind me of? This reminds me of watching the biggest mindfuck of a film I’ve ever seen with J, both of us turning round at the same time, and saying to each other “what the fuck was that?!”, and us eventually deciding that it was a good film, but neither of us could work out why exactly.

I’ve seen the film since, seen it a few times now. And read the comics. And got the soundtrack. And whenever I come across something to do with it, I always get reminded of the bizarre feeling I shared with J that night, who was just as confused and entertained, and then confused again, as I was. I guess you had to be there :)

Another shallow and boring story. But hey, it’s my blog. I am under no obligation to entertain you, only myself. And sorry for it being shite, but I honestly clicked the “next” button in iTunes, and the live version of Planet Telex by Radiohead played (which is actually off Just CD2, which is the second CD single released for the song Just, off The Bends, fact fans). Honesty, it’s what I do.

Kind of :)

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Apr 10
2010

Kevin Costner is underrated. IMHO etc. OK, so there was Waterworld (which wasn’t that bad, or gets points for being so bad it’s good at least), and The Postman (which was just weird). I know there’s others, but I can’t be fucked thinking of them. Anyways, the point is that he’s made some shite films. But by Christ, he was brave to even attempt them. I mean, he got kudos for making a Western when they weren’t being made any more (and he got an Oscar for his troubles, too). But that was a ballsy move. A 3 hour long Western that sides with the Indians. Not exactly a compelling argument to spend money to see it (although I did sleep with someone so I could watch it one Xmas, but that’s another story, which is possibly more tragic for all concerned).

Some actors have a way of turning something that sounds like a disaster on the page into a startling success on the screen (think of early De Niro roles; Taxi Driver, Mean Streets, arguably even The Godfather Part 2). I’d argue that Kevin Costner is blatantly not one of them. But he tries! He gives it his best shot each time. Puts his reputation and money on the line each time, and never phones it in. More than you can say of pretty much anyone in Hollywood these days (the obvious exception being Johnny Depp, who has managed to make a career out of making his every role a fucking weird one, and they all work).

All this is leading up to a film which Kevin Costner made which was risky as fuck, and was also very awesome, and which about six people on the planet have seen. It’s called Mr Brooks. It starts Costner as the Mr Brooks of the title; a dedicated family man, successful in business and life, who is also a serial killer. See? A brave role! He’s a dad and a husband and he slaughters people so he can crack one off. I doubt Liam Neeson would try this kind of role. Still with me? Right. William Hurt also stars as Mr Brooks’ murderous side of his split personality. You know, only Mr Brooks (and the audience) can see him or hear him, and he tries to convince Mr Brooks to go out killing again after giving it up for several years.

This being a film, of course, he does. After years and years of killing and getting away with it, he gets caught in the act by an amateur photographer played by Dane Cook (who is an asshole in the film, and may well be an asshole in real life, but at least in the film he’s meant to be one). The photographer witnesses the murder and gets a hard on, and so begins his mission to blackmail Mr Brooks to teach him how to get away with murder. While all this is going on, a driven and dedicated homicide detective (Demi Moore) is on Mr Brooks’s ass, but she’s also got another escaped serial killer on her ass too. And her husband is pushing for a divorce, because she is a multi-millionaire cop (weird, innit!).

OK, that’s enough spoiled. The film is a gripping serial killer thriller, but it’s not got much action. The suspense comes from all the different plot threads closing in on Mr Brooks, and wondering just how Brooks (and his split personality) is going to get out of all this intact. It’s a wonderful film which touches on a billions related subjects and pulls them all in perfectly. It’s riveting.

So, this here blog thing is about music that makes me sad. The film has this song in it, and it makes me sad, in a good way. Yes, I know I should have a song which makes me sad that has some other deeper meaning, but I don’t. I am a shallow man. And Mr Brooks is brilliant. And this song makes me sad until the end, when it gets awesome.

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Apr 6
2010

This one will be easy.

I can never settle on music playing software on my PC. I keep trying Winamp, but it’s too fiddly and stuffed with a bajillion options. And I can never pick just one skin for it, I have to have forty eight on the go and choose between them every five minutes. Anyways, Windows Media Player is ok, but it looks a bit gash and I don’t trust the library function. It loses stuff. So does iTunes, to be fair, but I know iTunes inside out now. I can put up with it occasionally losing a song. Oh, and Songbird and MusicBee and all the other open source music apps – they all look the same. Does my head in.

So, fuck you for not asking, but I use iTunes. There. I said it. I feel better now. The point for all this is that, in any installation of iTunes I use, there will be a playlist. One playlist which is common to the PCs I use. Mostly it’s called “Friday night”, although on this PC it’s called “FUCK IT” (a self-motivational message that never loses its power over me). This playlist abandons the sometimes miserable, sometimes depressing music that I sometimes like to listen to. There won’t be any Interpol in there (although NYC is quite sweet). What this playlist does contain is the musical equivalent of kerosene – an explosive and volatile mixture which can raise my mood to the point where I leave the flat and get pissed with my pals.

It contains all sorts of weird and wonderful musical chemistry. The playlist is on random at the moment, so let’s click Next five times and see what it comes up with.

First off, Journey Of The Sorceror by The Eagles. This was the theme for the Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy TV show, and porbably the radio show too, and it popped up at the start of the movie too. It registers 10,000 rads on the Awesometer.

A click of “next” and I get Straight In At 101 by Los Campesinos! Not sure what to make of these. I loved The Sea Is A Good Place To Think Of The Future. I’m still waiting for the rest of the Romance Is Boring album to make a similar impact. Hasn’t yet. Fuck knows how it got into this playlist, actually. Must stop downloading music when drunk, I suppose. Onwards!

Ooooh, a fucking classic. The Test by The Chemical Brothers featuring Richard Ashcroft. Yes Richard, you are coming through, and it is sweet, and pure, and true. Love this. Again again!

Breakneck Speed by Tokyo Police Club. Not really heard this one yet. Got it off a blog somewhere, probably Stereogum. I liked Tokyo Police Club’s first album, Elephant Shell. In A Cave and Juno were superb. So I got this here song and eventually I will form an opinion. Up to now, it’s looking good. Last click!

Awwwww. Poor Leno by Royksopp. I must have heard the Melody AM album more than Royksopp. It was on heavy rotation in the Palace Terrace flat for a year. Anyway, it still manages to enhance my calm. And Poor Leno is ace. Pity the band didn’t go on to better things, really.

So there you go, a random taster of what is in my “EMERGENCY – PUSH THE RED BUTTON AND CHEER THE FUCK UP” playlist. Which neatly brings me to my choice of song what cheers me up. It’s one which keeps getting hunted down in that playlist and clicked relentlessly. It’s a stupid, stupid song, and that only endears it to me more. And I said that Royksopp hadn’t gone on to better things, when really THEY HAD! THIS SONG! Just this one, mind you. But it’s enough for me.

Yep, the one what I am going on about is Happy Up Here by Royksopp. I mean, there’s other songs that make me happy. A whole scutch of them. 1.2 days worth, according to iTunes. I’ve not mentioned Lemon Jelly, or We Are Scientists, 65daysofstatic, Phoenix, Mclusky, Doves; the list goes on. I’ve let my music down, and I’ve let myself down. But. But! Fuck it. Happy Up Here it is. Cos it always goes down smooth.

Happy Up Here from Röyksopp on Vimeo.

(and for bonus points! It’s The Hood Internet’s delightful mashup of Happy Up Here with Lil Wayne, because you’re worth it)

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