Minecraft part 2

Last time round, I said I was going to show you the mining part.

One thing about Minecraft – just playing around in it gives you ideas on what to do next. I loaded it up with the intention of doing screenshots of the caves, but then I thought that my house was looking a bit tatty. So I spruced it up a bit.

La Cuntina (revised)

Note the glass roof and all the torches? My house is now officially bad ass. But! Why settle for one house when you can have two? Introducing La Cockita!

La Cockita

Bit smaller than the other house (I was aiming for some kind of amusing reference to genitalia size, but I’m now too tired to remember what I was gonna type). I’ve also added sand at the front so it all looks “pimp”.

You fucking knows it.

Ever wanted to see some cows next to one of my amazingly quick-growing trees? You’re in luck!

Cows, tree, house, and.....

Hold on! What’s that monstrosity in the background? It looks awfully like the beginnings of a fucking castle! (LOL it’s huge)

Approximately the size of one Xbox

The secret entrance is on the left, just underneath all the torches and the sign.

Secret entrance

Fucking creeper proof. I think. Well, kind of. Anyway, let’s go through the keyhole! (not like surgery, that’s different)

Yep, it's boring as fuck

The stone on the ground shows where the main inside walls are going to go. I’m intending to tier the floors as I build upwards, and make them go in a bit to make room for the rollercoaster which is going round the outside. Oh yeah, my castle has a rollercoaster! Well, it will eventually.

The shed

The area at the top of the screenshot is called the shed. It’s where I make stuff and store stuff. The grassy area at the bottom is there cos I can’t work out what to do with it yet.

Even more shed

Innit nice? All it needs is a portable TV, a PlayStation and a kettle, and I’ll never have to leave.

The Treehouse!

OK, so it’s not a proper treehouse, but it is a house with a tree in it. Wood on tap! Lovely jubbly.


See? Wood.

The mine!

The treehouse also conceals the entrance to the mine tunnels. I’ll never have to leave the castle again!

Fire, water and wood

OK, enough about that. Back outside and onto the outside castle walls. I’ve stuck torches all round the outside, and on the left you can see the rollercoaster tracks that go around the top of the walls. I’ve tested it as it is now and it’s shit. When the whole thing is done properly, this will be slightly more awesome. Oh, and see the water to the right of the torches? That’s my moat. Did I tell you I have a moat? I have a moat. With a boat.

Gazza has been looking for you

Look at that motherfucking moat! It was an absolute ballache doing the moat. The water bucket is mental. I had to fill it one block at a time in the end, so that there weren’t too many mental currents in the water. Boats are flimsy as fuck, and when they get wrecked they only give you half the materials back. Shouldn’t be too bad cos I’ve got wood in my house now, but still. It’s the principle of the thing.

See? Xbox sized

Here’s what the whole thing looks like up to now. Nowhere near finished, and I’m still trying to think of what to do with all the space. I’m thinking some kind of water feature will be required. A classy one. Maybe with some sand and stone in there, zen garden style.

Prince Adam can fuck right off

And what is this castle of awesome called, you probably didn’t ask? It would have to be known as Castle Greyskull. Cos it’s grey and it’s a castle and thinking about how to build this fucker has hurt my skull and its contents.


Darkness descends. Or appears. One of the two. Here’s a shot of the two houses in the dark. They be shiny, what with all the torches and glass.


This is what the castle will look like to the zombies that will spawn at nighttime. And this is about as much as they’ll ever see of it, cos it is impenetrable. I think. I will find out!


Remember that grassy bit in front of the shed? The bit I said I didn’t know what to do with? One of the side effects of having large patches of grass within your house-type area is that animals spawn there. I haven’t worked out exactly why yet, but for some reason the game doesn’t just spawn the occasional pig. Every morning, there’s a fucking menagerie inside my house. The chicken above spent two days being annoying as fuck in the entrance tunnel to the castle. After trying to sneak past the bastard for the twelfth time, it dawned on me that I can kill it. So I did. Then I slaughtered all the animals in my castle. Haha! Take that you furry fucks! Next morning? Even more animals, of all types. Fuck it. At least I got bacon on tap too. Fucking love bacon.


Cows. Bastards keep mooing all night. Hate them.

So there you go. I took these screenshots a couple of hours ago, and I’ve made tons of changes since then. The castle is actually starting to look like a proper castle now. It has two floors! Only one ceiling, but two floors! I’ll post new pics again soon if I can be arsed again. Thank you for reading.

1 Comment

    you are awesome :o) xxx

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