Minecraft – part 3

Bad news. The game crashed, and it deleted a quarter of my beloved castle.

Good news! I rebuilt most of it.

Bad news. There’s a section of moat which I can’t ever rebuild; every time I try, I reload the game and it’s gone.

Good news! Fuck moats.

One wall, at night

It’s a wall, with a rollercoaster track along the top. Woo!

The twins

La Cuntina and La Cockita, as seen from the top of my castle, at night. Fuck me, these photos be thrilling!

The Grand Tour

This is the sign at the start of the rollercoaster which starts at the top of the castle and goes along the walls. It’s not too bad, but all the dips in the wall make motion sickness a possibility. I like it.

Gone but not forgotten

This is the section of moat and land which can’t be remade. Stupid game crashing. Ah well.

Express elevator to Hell

This is the actual rollercoaster to the walls. It’s a bit nippy.

A room with a view!

This is one of the floors of the castle. Don’t know which one, they all look the same really. Stairs to the floor above on the left, and behind the stone wall in the centre is a massive ladder running through all the floors.


This is another floor. Tried for a traditional castle wall thing with holes for shooting arrows from. Looks a bit shit. Ah well. Onwards!

Randy fuckers

The area in front of the shed, which is still spawning animals like mad. They must be rutting constantly. Dirty fuckers.

A motherfucking shed!

Yep, it actually is a motherfucking shed. It’s where I make things. And then kill all them animals with them things what I did made.


Woody’s! It’s where the trees live. I’ve upgraded this room, there’s two trees in here now. One of them is a bit of a short arse, the other one threatens to engulf the whole castle if I don’t chop the bastard down every now and again.

Next floor - DOOM

The mines of DOOM. I thought it would be really clever to have an entrance to the mines from within the castle walls. Then I thought it would be fun to switch the baddies back on, now that the castle is finished and all that. Walked down the stairs and a creeper blew the fuck out of this entrance. Amendments have been made. Zombies and creepers and them jumping fuck spiders can fuck right off. GET OUT OF MY CASTLE YOU BASEMENT-DWELLING CUNTS.

Castle Greyskull

Castle Greyskull! Even though it looks fuck all like a skull! This fact is rendered irrelevant in the face of my boundless enthusiasm for this motherfucking castle what I did made! Note the frozen piss popsicle sword in the bottom right corner what my character is carrying.


The castle as seen from a corner somewhere. On the bottom left of the shot is the stupid fucking broken bastard moat bastard. Fuck it, imperfections add character. This ugly fuck of a castle has character. OFFICIAL.

Yet more castle

You know you love it. Look at the fucking thing. It is awesome. Made of win and genius. Castle Wolfenstein can fuck right off.

Ace in the Hole

What’s this? Why, would it be a secret entrance into the mines? That leads directly into my castle? Which will probably bite me in the arse at some point (or let things in which will bite me in the arse)? I think so! Still, it is a secret entrance. Quite well hidden.


….apart from the fucking big stone column with torches on it which indicates exactly where it is. Look, at some point I’m gonna do something retarded and fall out the castle when it’s dark and things will try to kill me. It’s almost certain, because I’m stupid. When this happens, I’ll be glad there’s a brightly lit and well advertised secret tunnel into the mines (currently infested with all sorts of nasties) that will let me get back into the castle (and also let the nasties in too). It’s a foolproof plan that takes into account my stupidity in advance. This will work.

Yep, Easy it is

Speaking of which, let’s switch them zombie fucks back on (Easy difficulty, of course – anything higher and I’d die quicker than Vanessa Feltz’s willpower if she woke up trapped in a Cadbury’s warehouse) (for the record, “Cadbury’s warehouse” wasn’t meant as a euphemism, although it probably should be one by now).

Brave? Fuck no!

Do I dare go in there? Do I fuck. Save and Quit, cheers. Until next time! 🙂

Leave a Reply