Bozzley

Fable 2.1

(specifically, Knothole Island and See The Future DLC)

I’ve started Knothole Island. Don’t know how, but I seem to have deleted my “good character” save game, so I’m doing this as my evil bastard. The one who ended Fable 2 (spoilers etc) by getting a fuckton of cash and leaving the dog in doggie heaven.

Hello, Knothole Island! I’ll have a look around, shall I? What’s this sign say? You can kill someone in a crypt to get your dog back? Well! It’s a good job that I’m a fucking rich king of Albion then. Come here, househusband. Follow me into this creepy crypt. In you go.

EAT ELECTRIC DEATH!

Hello, doggie! I’ve missed you. Yes I have. What’s that, boy? A dig spot? Well, if I hadn’t sold my shovel the second your corpse cooled, I’d happily dig it up. Back to Bowerstone then.

ONE MAD RUSH ROUND THE MARKET FINDING THE SHOP I SOLD THE SHOVEL TO LATER…..

Hello again, Knothole Island! What’s that, dog? A dig spot you say? Why, let us dig it up!

What’s that boy, another dig spot? Fetch me my shovel!

Another dig spot? For fuck’s sakes, who in their right mind would bury all these expensive potions around the island, an island with a dog-resurrecting crypt on it? There’s a reason why people don’t hide their heroin next to police dog kennels, you know. Anyway, back to the island.

Blah blah cold blah ice blah sun totem blah ice key blah go there. To the place with an ice key in it!

10 MINS LATER…

Done! Right, now where’s this shrine for the sun totem thingy? Oh, up this long winding path? OK then. This should take two minutes, so long as there’s no dig spots on the way, haha!

15 MINS LATER…

How do I put this fucking dog down again? Where is the “euthanise your puppy” crypt? Is that on Annoyingbastard Island instead? Anyways, the sun is now out. Back to town to get the glory and more quests!

Erm, apart from the fact there aren’t any quests. Oh, I’ve unlocked another gift in the Box of Secrets shop, except it isn’t a gift, it’s an item exchange. So now I’ve got to find that book I had years ago, which I could have sold to any of the bajillion shops in the game, in order to get something in return? How come I can’t just give the shopkeeper, say, half a million gold instead? Cos I’ve got just under 4 million now. I gave a beggar 10,000 gold the other day to see if they would buy a house, get a job – you know, stop being a beggar. But no, they continued to sit on their lazy arse and beg for more money. I’m going back to that beggar tonight – if he is still on his ass asking for cash, I’m going to take him for a scenic walk behind a shop and stab the bastard.

And once I’ve done that, I’ll see if there’s any other quests I can do. And if there isn’t, then I’m going to slaughter the population of Knothole Island. Did I mention that I’m evil? I really am.

2 Comments

    The time I spent trying to get every item in that sodding Knothole Island shop….. yay Fable 2! Bring on number 3!

  • Oh my fuck, I can’t wait for Fable 3. Actually, I can, but then when it is here I’ll be all giddy and idiotic.

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