Time, Gentlemen, Please

I’m going to talk about the ending to this here game now, so this is going to be my first experiment with the “More” function of WordPress. I hope it works! (obviously, this post is one massive fuck off spoiler to Time, Gentlemen, Please, which is £3 on Steam and an absolute bargain and a fucking hysterical game, so don’t spoil it for yourself, go buy the bastard, finish it, and then come back, ya hear me?)

So! I’ll assume you’ve finished the game then. You better fucking had. This is an ending of Portal proportions. It’s genius. Seriously, don’t ruin it for yourself.

You done it yet?

OK, here goes.

Fuck me! What an ending! I laughed my tits off when Ben and Dan got Hitler to blow himself up. Then I was shocked to fuck when they murdered their past / future selves (I got confused by this point). And then I was pissing myself laughing when God poured them their favourite pints and let them off. A brilliant end to a brillo game.

Of course, the worst part about it, for there is one, is that the proposed episodic sequel, Revenge of the Balloon-Headed Mexican, has been cancelled. If my heart wasn’t already necessarily bleeding in a constant attempt to keep me alive, then it would be bleeding for Ben and Dan, both fictional and real. Honestly, I hope they manage to beat their own shockingly high standard with TGP and create something even more amazing, cos then they’d be uber famous and rich as fuck and then every game would feature a skeleton’s arm covered in Hitler’s bloody shite as a weapon. Damn, how funny would Call of Duty 12 be if you had to defeat the boss baddie dude by pulling a skeleton’s arm covered in Hitler’s bloody shite out of your pocket and stuffing it down the bastard’s throat until he exploded? That would be funny, and fucking awesome. Someone get on this!

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