The dog ate my homework

So I’ve gone without the internet for months, due to an argument with my service provider. More accurately, my service withholder, but whatever. What’s a guy to do when he doesn’t have access to Warcraft and as much porn as his eyes can process? This guy played pretty much ever game he had installed (or had discs to hand for the 360).

I finished Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory. Again. And started a new game already. I love that game even more now. More than once, I found something new. A new joke for Sam to crack, depending on what order you do things. New ways of completing objectives (one of which was very cool and involved using a wireless connection to a briefcase as the owner put it down for 30 seconds to talk to someone, much cooler than it may sound). A game that’s donkeys years old, that I’ve finished five times in the past, and I’m still playing? That’s a top three game right there. Easily.

I also played Plants vs Zombies. Last time I spoke about it on here, I went on and on about how the design of the game, and how it is presented to the player, is exquisite. However, what I didn’t say is that I got stuck on the 40th level or so, and gave it up. In the meantime, one of my best pals got into it and finished it four times over, unlocked 99% of the game, and kept going on about how awesome it is. So I did the rare thing and went back to it. And jeeebus, is it good. When you complete it for the first time, you unlock the Zen Garden. Oh, erm, spoilers. The Zen Garden is where you plant plants, which do nothing but whine about needing water and occasionally spew out coins. This one part of the game has had me hooked. I dread to think how big my leccy bill will be this month cos I’ve left the beast PC on for so long to get tons of cash in PvZ. I am in awe of this game. Deceptively simple all the way through. And it keeps on giving out new stuff! Seriously can’t get over how generous this game is.

And finally, the wildcard of the bunch, I’ve been playing Borderlands again. On my own. And I’ve come to the conclusion that Borderlands is a modern day take on Gauntlet, one of my fave games ever. I used to think it was one of them games where you need to wait for it to click with the player, when what it really needed is the usual cop-out of “this is like INSERT GAME HERE but crossed with INSERT ANOTHER GAME HERE”. For Borderlands, it is like Gauntlet mixed with Doom. And now that I’ve got that comparison in place, it makes sense. It clicks. And it is fucking brilliant.

So there you go. I’m back now. For how long, Jeebus H Titwank Christ knows. Still, I’m gonna type here when I’m drunk for as long as I can 🙂


EDIT – Special mention to Tensing and our LAN night, where I finally got to play Chaos Theory co-op and SWAT 4 co-op. Fucking funny evening, and I’m glad I managed to pick a couple of co-op winners. Soon as the 360 gets a co-op game right like those games did, I’m there.

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