Rant time

Cos I let the PS3 off way too lightly before.

You get your PS3 out the box. You plug it in. You switch it on. It starts up. Hooray! And then it connects to the internet. Hooray! And then it takes an hour to install a system update. And then you spend an hour working out how to get the BBC iPlayer working on the bastard (you have to install PlayStation Store, and then PlayStation Home, and then, for no readily discernable reason, then the XMB will display a TV icon, from which you can install iPlayer, ITV Player and 4OD).

So by now you’ve spent a couple of hours downloading updates, and then installing updates, and then downloading the extras you want, and then installing the extras. So you fuck it off for the night. The next day comes, and you race home from work. So exciting! You fire up the PS3, and slam in your new game. And then it downloads a massive update. And then it installs a massive update.

Let’s be honest, you were expecting that, weren’t you? I bet you were.

In that case, whatever you do, don’t buy Uncharted 2, cos you’ll be expected to download and install nine updates. Not just one. Nine. Not one big one, not one massive, consolidated  update. Noooooo. Nine separate, individual, cunting bastard fucking updates.

Which is funny, cos I just switched the 360 on for the first time in over 6 months, and it made me download one system update, and that took 60 seconds to do.

Sony can suck it. They better learn from the abomination that is the PS3, cos if they don’t then the Xbox 720 or whatever it ends up being called will destroy the PlayStation brand.

And for fuck’s sakes Sony, buy a decent firewall. Fuck it, buy three, just in case.


    It’s a pile of steaming wank. Everything about it is poorly implemented from the stupid control panel to the controller only designed for the hands of gay midget chinks. The games are buggy (still, how many years after the consoles release ffs?), it’s actually worse at rendering 3D than the under powered xbox and worst of all, worse than all of that (and even the endless stupid updates which seem to be getting downloaded from a 14.4k 1980s BB) is the fact that as a Blu-Ray player it’s fucking aweful. It’s ONE USP, the one thing that was supposed to get everybody excited about it is a let down. Sure most PS3 owners won’t notice because they’ll never buy a standalone Blu-Ray player cos they own a PS3 but I did, and it ejeculates Blu-Ray picture awesomeness all over the PS3s piss poor effort. The difference is unbelievable, as big as the difference between VHS and DVD. So in brief it is a shit games console, poor media centre (still spews on plenty of formats) and fucking shite Blu-Ray player. In fact the only thing going for it is the fact it is quite…compared to a first or second gen Xbox 360.

    I speak without prejudice, I bought a PS3 very early on when they were very expensive and just for the sake of my marriage it would have been nice to be able to say something good about that hefty investment. Couldn’t then and can’t now, it’s fucking crap.

    ps the bluetooth controller also interferes massively with wireless networks on certain channels meaning that it becomes totally unusable for streaming unless you plugin the controller. Well done Sony, a fucking master stroke of design right there.

  • Paulie B! Finally! 🙂

    I hated the controller until I managed to work out the trick. Instead of gripping the controller like your life depends on it, which is how the Xbox 360 controller demands to be wielded, gingerly balance the PS3 controller on finger and thumb tips, like someone has handed you a baby that stinks like shite and is retching in your general direction. Not ideal, but it works.

    I don’t actually own a BluRay disc. I have watched several, just not via the PS3 *cough *

    What frustrates me most about it is the fact that Sony have managed to retain some fucking good developers to make games exclusively for their platform. The second that Naughty Dog, whoever makes Joe Danger, and David Jaffe all move to the 360, I’m selling the PS3. Anything else I end up buying for the PS3 will be of the “I’m bored, the game is cheap, fuck it” purchasing variety.

    Or I’ll buy a BluRay disc and watch it and think “my [ALTERNATE SOURCE FOR 720P MOVIES] works better than this” and never buy another BluRay ever again. And then sell the PS3.

    Finally, how the fuck have I got captcha on this here blog?! 🙂

  • I shall try the finger and thumb balance trick with GT5, it’s the only game I still play on it. I smashed up the Killzone 2 disc in a fit of fury (the controller) which was the only other proper game I invested in except a couple to compare and contrast with the 360. Other than that there are 1 or 2 good, cheap, tower defense style games exclusive to PS3 through the market which are a decent play for a couple of hours…just so you don’t look a complete numtpy for buying one.

    No idea how you’ve got captcha’s, gotta be the theme?

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