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Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Divinity: Original Sin

Divine.

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Shadows of Mordor

Uruk-hai there!

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Star Wars: The Old Republic

Levels 1 to 19.

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All Skyrimmed Out

Too much of a good thing.

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The Ultimate List of 2012 (maybe)

My EXCLUSIVE SNEAK PREVIEW of 2012.

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The Ultimate List of 2011

Cos 2011 really was really fucking good for games.

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Jockey Riders!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ai8QbNUyW_k This looks ACE.

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If Mario was designed in 2010

http://www.hiwiller.com/2010/04/29/if-mario-was-designed-in-2010/

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WoW. Again.

I started playing it again this week. Joined a guild on a new server; some old mates, lots of new people. Observations up to now: You can really blast through the early stuff quickly these days. You can kill stuff a lot higher level than you, and quite comfortably too. Hunters are fucking ace once […]

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Something original

I hope! Just read the making of God of War in an old back issue of Edge. David Jaffe says something along the lines of “I watch Casablanca and I wonder how we’re going to makes games as affecting for so long, to give the player such long-lasting memories”. I’d quote verbatim, but I’ve left […]

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day 15 – a song that describes you

Fuck orders, I’m skipping this song thing like a motherfucker. Even though I got bored of it. Ha! Everyone is different. And yet, everyone wants to be the same. It’s a constant since caveman times, although back then it was a necessity – groups live longer than individuals. This has become communities. People want to […]

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Drunken film rambling – again!

You’d have thought I’d have learned the first time, eh? Started watching Moon again. Weird but good film, but weird. But good. Anyway, one of them things I don’t usually notice, but did tonight, is there’s a fucking lovely shot when Sam Rockwell is waking up. He’s lying down, and the camera is tight in […]

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Left 4 Dead 2 2: The sequel!

Fuck. I hate stuff like this. You find something out, and it’s clever and funny and sweet and daft and ace. But, it’s also kind of a spoiler. As in, stumbling across it made it awesome. So for anyone who may have recently come across the game and is playing through it obsessively (just like […]

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Left 4 Dead 2

I loved the original Left 4 Dead. Went through it a fair few times. Loved the atmosphere, loved the fact it could shit me right up, loved it. Then I put it to one side, as you do. Re-installed it the other week and fired it up again, and lo and behold! Free DLC stuff! […]

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Fuck Music

And that’s enough of the music posts. Bored. Onwards!

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day 05 – a song that reminds you of someone

I’ve kind of already done this one in day one, but I’ll do it again with a different song. Also, behind-the-scenes spoiler alert – I don’t exactly post these stories every day. Also, I’m writing most of them in advance and posting them on the day I’m meant to. Also – I had stories for […]

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day 04 – a song that makes you sad

Kevin Costner is underrated. IMHO etc. OK, so there was Waterworld (which wasn’t that bad, or gets points for being so bad it’s good at least), and The Postman (which was just weird). I know there’s others, but I can’t be fucked thinking of them. Anyways, the point is that he’s made some shite films. […]

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day 03 – a song that makes you happy

This one will be easy. I can never settle on music playing software on my PC. I keep trying Winamp, but it’s too fiddly and stuffed with a bajillion options. And I can never pick just one skin for it, I have to have forty eight on the go and choose between them every five […]

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day 02 – your least favorite song

What the fuck?! Least favourite song? Jeeeeebus. OK, so I’m back to the same problem as I had with “your bestest song ever made ever innit”. How the fuck do you choose? I hate most of music. 99.99999% of it. Does nothing for me. That’s why I cherish the music that does something for me. […]

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day 01 – your favorite song

I don’t have one. Absolutely seriously don’t. The thing that’s been putting me off doing this 30 days of music thing the most is this question. No clue as to how to answer it. I mean, there’s infinite criteria. You could go on and on justifying one over another. I’ve been stuck picking a reason […]

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30 Days of Music

(blatantly stolen from love & zombies, via Kieron Gillen’s Workblog) 30 Days of Music day 01 – your favorite song day 02 – your least favorite song day 03 – a song that makes you happy day 04 – a song that makes you sad day 05 – a song that reminds you of someone […]

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Specter Spelunker Shrinks

This is one of them things where you play it and the central mechanic sinks in and you are amazed that no-one has done it before (or if they have, I’ve not seen it). A fine way to spend five minutes. http://gamejolt.com/online/games/platformer/specter-spelunker-shrinks/1865/

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Mass Effect 2

Well! Having been floored by a flawed but also brilliant first game, I had high hopes for the second one. Edge gave it 9 out of 10, IIRC. Edge! A nine! They mean business! Sequels are a chance to take what was good about the previous game and polish it like fuck. They’re also a […]

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Batman Arkham Asylum

(I was all set to do a massive post about Mass Effect 2, but I just couldn’t be fucked, so this will have to do for now) Batman Arkham Asylum is like Splinter Cell mixed with God of War, but set in a sinister as fuck mental asylum, but it has Batman in it. GOOD […]

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Portal v1.1

Well, there’s no use crying over every mistake. Portal had an ambiguous ending, which at the time led to all sorts of speculation. Is she dead? Is she alive? Things like that? The game has been patched twice this week. First time, you now get an achievement for carrying a radio through the game and […]

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Mass Effect – another post

Right. I’ve now finished this as both a goody bloke and an absolute arsehole. The reason I bought this game (and stuck with the shitty opening stretch) is that Mass Effect 2 is getting really good reviews, and it does something a bit different. It detects your saved games from the first game, and things […]

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Films what I am watching

I don’t talk about films on here very often, cos over a long period of time I’ve grown to like games more than films. Sometimes, I get an itch that a game can’t scratch. Sometimes I just wanna sit the fuck down without a keyboard being stuck to my lap. Most times, when I eat, […]

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Mass Defect

Modern popular are (generally) not the creation of one person. Modern popular games are mostly made by teams which can number in the hundreds. When you look at a game, everything you can see was made by someone. The music was written and recorded and compressed and inserted into the game by people. People programmed […]

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More Borderlands

I realised the other day that Borderlands is like raiding in World of Warcraft (or any other MMORPG, I’d imagine). Well, it’s like raiding without the tactics. And without thirty six other people. And in first person. With guns. What carries over is the stress. You worry that you’re in the wrong place. You’ve got […]

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Mass Effect

I know this metaphor has been done before (and by vastly better writers than me), but it’s so very apt for Mass Effect. It’s like an abusive relationship – you stick with it for the occasional flash of happiness, but you have to go through so much shit to get to it. Starts off slow. […]

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Indie Postmortem: Grambo: The Game!

Hi, my name is Ben, and I got fed up of playing shit games all the time, so I actually went and made one. My best friend’s band split up very recently, and so I decided to use this as a basic for my first game. This is what happened. What Went Right 1. Keep […]

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The Wii

Yep, I finally got one. I have a total of three games for it – Wii Sports (came with it), Wii Sports Resort Sports (came with it as well), and Metroid Prime Trilogy. Out of the three, I’ve played Metroid Prime Trilogy, cos I actually wanted to play it. Started with Metroid Prime. The problem […]

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Borderlands – multiplayer

FINALLY got on Borderlands multiplayer last night. I could have gone on with randoms, but I wanted to wait until I could get on with chums. Chums tend to let you off for thieving everything really quick (like I did all night, sorry). So! Differences – the game is harder. Scales well, but the increase […]

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God of War

This New Year, I packed up my trusty old PS2 and took it round to the girlfriend’s house. Haven’t played it in a year or so, got a few games left for it which I haven’t completed, one of which being the first God of War game. I’d left it saved just over the half […]

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Grumpy Old Man

I am 32 years old. I play computer and video games, in some form or another, every single day. I do this because they give me a feeling of accomplishment, they make me feel like I have skills that can be applied successfully, and certain games enable a social aspect which I find hard to […]

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Borderlands part 2

Something I noticed last night – even though you know that behind every fight are COLD HARD NUMBERS, which are there to make sure you will never ever win at your current level, and even though there’s six of them with rocket launchers and one of you with four bullets left in your gun, the […]

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Borderlands

Borderlands is a mixture of FPS and (MMO)RPG, which is available on the PC, Xbox 360, PS3, iPhone and Atari 2600. I lied about the last two. I’ve been playing through the PC version (thanks Drav!) for a wee while, and although I haven’t got to play co-op yet, I’ve got enough of a grasp […]

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How to beat WoW

World of Warcraft is the MMO with the largest player base. There’s billions of ’em. It’s the game that all new MMOs are held up against. It’s the game that all MMO developers and publishers are looking to beat, or at the very least steal a large chunk of players from it. For the last […]

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Top 5 games since 2000

In no particular order, list is subjective blah blah: World of Warcraft – Introduced me to multiplayer, but properly. Led to the pan-European drinking raids. A world to explore and conquer, with room for all sorts of play styles. Love it. Fable 2 – It’s all about you. Lots of “fuckin hell!” moments, in a […]

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Mandy sucks the corporate cock

The UK Government would like to take your internet and throw it to the music and film and TV industries to fuck with. Spend 3 minutes signing this, it is very worth it. http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/dontdisconnectus/

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Far Cry 2 is shite

I’m annoyed by how much the games critics have thrown praise at Far Cry 2 (or at the very least, not ripped the shit out of it). I’m also annoyed at my own lack of patience, so I’m going to be a bastard and rip the shit out of it. Here goes! There’s no story. […]

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Happy Friday!

FYI, that is his real phone number (takes you to his home voicemail).

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Fair fuckin’ play

http://uk.video.yahoo.com/watch/6029311/15670259

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THAT moment – revealed!

With regards to this post: Steam unlocked Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 an hour earlier than I thought, so I got chance to give it a go tonight. Anyways, the point is, I now know what THAT moment is. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare had a bit in it where you played as […]

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THAT moment

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (or CoD6). It’s available to play for Xbox 360 owners. It’s sort of available to PC retail purchasers (Tensing had troubles getting Steam to recognise that he owned an installed copy, and didn’t want to download the whole game again). It’s not yet available to Steam pre-orderers (of which […]

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80s throwbacks

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The Gay Desk

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Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 – exculsive reveew!!1!

best game evr but no dedicated servers on PC and no party chat on 360 and keith vaz is shit @ PR and steem users are delayed for 2 days cos Valve sux 10/10 perfect MW3 yeah!

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I love WoW for stuff like this

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My new word of the day

Cuntinuity – to consistently be a cunt. As in, “That guy broke cuntinuity and was nice to me for once”.

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Fucking weird

Simon Cowell’s TV Debut – watch more funny videos

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Shadow of Memories

Shadow of Memories (AKA Shadow of Destiny) is an old game. It was released in 2001 on the PlayStation 2, and ported to the PC a year later. Back in the day, I’d played through it with my (ex-)girlfriend watching the whole thing. We spent two weeks playing it over and over again, relishing in […]

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Rainbow 6 Vegas 2 Rochdale 2

I’ll stop doing footy-related jokes about games with multiple numbered titles when games companies stop making them (although Rainbow 6 is the name of the outfit in the game, not a sequel number, but hey, it’s my blog, fuck it). The first Rainbow 6 Vegas was, well, I suppose the word is “average”. It did […]

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World of Warcraft – bad things

A list of things that aren’t especially good in World of Warcraft, in no particular order: Murlocs. They’re the biggest cheap trick in the game – they look cute, they sound silly, but they’re fucking lethal. Murlocs are always in large, tight groups, so you have trouble pulling just one. When you’ve got them down […]

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WoWcraft

No doubt this will be one of many posts about World of Warcraft. World of Warcraft. It’s a fucker. It’s the elephant in the boardroom of any other MMOG publisher. It’s the blatant exception to the “PC gaming is dying” argument (and possibly to the Mac gaming one too). It’s the game that gamers love […]

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Call of Duty 6, Modern Warfare 2, Liverpool 0

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 (to give it the correct title) is out next week. I loved the first Modern Warfare game. You can google it to get a billion blog posts about why it is so good, and they’ll all have better writing than I can muster. Loved it, but wasn’t in a […]

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World of Warcraft

I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack rogues on fire off the shoulder of Warsong Gulch. I watched Frostbolts glitter in the dark near the Dark Portal. All those moments will be lost in time… like tears in rain… Time to die. Sprirt ressed! Gonna repair, brb.

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Fey Bull Too

It’s rare to be captivated by a modern game. Back when sprites were being generated on Spectrums and C64s and Amstrads, your initial engagement with a game would be one of reflex; press this button and it does that. Woohoo! Instant ocular gratification. You’d feel your way round for a few minutes, then get comfortable […]

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Boredom Rising

Been playing Dead Rising on the 360. Zombie game, set in a mall. Bowling balls, lawnmowers, skateboards, big foam lightsabers – all can be used as weapons. Should be right up my street. There’s a type of film which starts off slow. It’s boring for the first 30 mins or so. But you persevere, cos […]

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Burnout Paradise

I bought Burnout Paradise the other day; for the Xbox and the 3, 6 and 0. I’d played it once or twice before – I’d been expecting the usual refinement and change of the Burnout series, but Paradise threw me for a loop. No Crash mode, no routes to learn, just a big city and […]

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The Storm Before The Calm

Late last year, there was approximately fourteen billion really fucking good games released within a three month window (give or take a month). Usually, games companies wait until Xmas to sell their top properties as this is when Mums and Dads and other old people waddle into town to pick something up for Little Johnny […]

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Grief

Just read through the archives of a really old blog I used to have. Apparently, I was much funnier two years ago. Comments I made which are still funny – “Did someone dial a rapist?”, “My piss is Lucozade orange right now”, and my current fave, “some sheep racing show”. Out of context, they’re awesome […]

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Fallout 3 – Daft Shit

Fallout 3 is good. Really good. Here comes the “but” – it’s got some daft shit in there. Create-a-character. You make up your character at the start of the game using a billion options on race, hairstyles, eye colour, all the usual. The daft thing about it is the very first option, where you can […]

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Things I Miss From Gears Of War 1

The destructible furniture. I miss being able to run into a room with my Xbox Livey pal and just go apeshit on chairs and desks using the “machine gun + chainsaw = weapon perfection” Lancer. I miss that specific room in Gears 1 where both players knew instinctively to hold the thumbstick just-so, whilst also […]

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Butterscotch tabs!

Oh, and also – these rolling papers are amazing. Butterscotch is highly recommended!

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