Fuck orders, I’m skipping this song thing like a motherfucker. Even though I got bored of it. Ha!

Everyone is different. And yet, everyone wants to be the same. It’s a constant since caveman times, although back then it was a necessity – groups live longer than individuals. This has become communities. People want to be a part of a community. And yet, they also want to stand out within that community. It’s a dichotomy. You can’t stand out while blending in.

As much as this may describe me, it will also describe you. And everyone. Especially where the internet is concerned. You have an opinion and a voice and fingers. You want to contribute to your favourite site or forum or Facebook or Twitter, but you don’t just want to repeat what everyone else is saying. You want to stand out, even though you’re only going to get the same little paragraph as everyone else. You re-tweet what you think your friends will like, but then you’ll itch to post something yourself, to put your stamp on things. To let people know that you were there.

Everything I ever say or do is along these lines. I want to stand out, but only within my close circle of friends, and only if it doesn’t upset any of them. The rare time something I’ve done or said has upset a true friend, I’ve either fervently believed I was in the right and stood my ground, or I’ve backed down at a rapid rate of knots because I’ve known I was wrong in the first place. Or I’ve backed down to save their feelings, because, to quote George Clooney in From Dusk Til Dawn, “I may be a bastard, but I’m not a fucking bastard”. Sometimes I need to hide in the middle. Sometimes I’m happy to blend in, right up to the point where I feel I’m being lost in the crowd. And then I push back.

So a song that describes me then. A song that encapsulates the most obvious personality traits I have, that shows what people may perceive to be bravery is actually tons of fear, would have to be Radio Protector by 65daysofstatic. An instrumental, but never to be listened to in the background. A blend of all sorts, and yet very distinct. An epic that is fragile round the edges. The kind of thing I’d love to get my friends to play, but they wouldn’t, because I’m the only person I know who likes the song. Because I’m different.

Tags: 30 Days of Music

And that’s enough of the music posts. Bored. Onwards!

Tags: 30 Days of Music

I’ve kind of already done this one in day one, but I’ll do it again with a different song.

Also, behind-the-scenes spoiler alert – I don’t exactly post these stories every day. Also, I’m writing most of them in advance and posting them on the day I’m meant to. Also – I had stories for this week all lined up, but due to people fucking up the family PC by accident, and due to someone being an intolerable arsehole to the mother of my semi-step-daughter (which is a longer story than it should be), and due to today being LASAGNE FRIDAY!!!, and due to me getting home a couple of hours ago with a bottle of Jack and a bottle of Coke and drinking said Jack and Coke until now, well, my planned schedule has gone out the window. So, this is me being hammered and truthful and live, instead of the pre-written stuff.

A song that reminds me of someone. Hmmmm. Pretty much every song I like reminds me of someone, or something involving someone somewhere. Most of the time, that’s why I like music. It reminds me of something or someone. Now though, I have to choose a track what isn’t Where Is My Mind by the Pixies, which is my kind of obvious retrospective choice.

When in doubt – fire up the “FUCK IT” playlist in iTunes and see where it lands. And ooh, this is a good ‘un.

So – picture the scene. I’ve gone round my ex-girlfriend’s house to see the semi-step-nipper. I lived with the semi-step-nipper for long enough to know she’s awesome, and if I was ever foolish to unleash my sperms onto unfertilised eggs, I’d hope and pray they eventually grew up to be half as awesome as she is, hence me going round there while her mum’s new boyfriend is there. It’s a bit weird, but it’s nothing I can’t handle. I know my place. What I didn’t know is that my ex’s brother was there. I entertain the semi-step-nipper (I know my place), and the ex’s boyfriend goes out for the evening. Eventually, the nipper’s bed time arrives and she goes to bed. By this time, I’ve tucked into some beers with the ex’s brother, and we’re having a giggle. The ex was testing some IP TV thing at the time, so she got free films through the TV. She fucks off to bed, and I stay up with her brother. He’s flicking through the channels, and I see a film I’ve heard of.

Anyone who knows me will recognise this. This is the moment where I know the tiniest morsel of fact about something I want to see, and will expand it beyond all reason in order to secure a viewing. One of the frequent bouts of trying to get my own way. I am unapologetic, because if you know what I’m on about, you have known me long enough to accept it. Haha! Fuck you. Anyway, the film in question is called Southland Tales, by the guy who made Donnie Darko. Donnie Darko confused the shit out of me until I went through the website and pieced together the plot, and then I loved it. However, I considered this to be an experience I’d only go through once – if a film needs a fucking website to make sense, then it’s not doing its job.

So, me and my ex’s brother watched Southland Tales. We weren’t as drunk as I am now (which is a lot, cos I tripped over a door on my way to the PC about fifteen minutes ago), but we had been caning the beers. This turned out to be a blessing, cos the film didn’t need a website to explain the story, it needed three comics (which I now have). Being hammered helped us ignore the shit we didn’t understand, and got us both through to the end, where it abandons all sense and goes mental (although now I know what it means, thanks to the comics). The film ends, and we both turn to each other at exactly the same time and say “what the fuck was all that about?”. We then proceeded to have the longest conversation we’d ever had, about what the film was about, whether it was any good, whether we’d want to watch it all again, and why have we ran out of beer?

Next day, there’s three things I remember from the night before. 1 – I saw the most mental film I’d ever seen the night before, 2 – the bit where they get into their cars as dusk settles to the tune of Blackout by Muse is fucking beautiful, and 3 – there was a live version of Planet Telex by Radiohead in there somewhere. Seriously, fuck the plot and the characters and everything – there was a Radiohead live version I’d never heard before. In a film. I don’t forget Radiohead lightly.

Eventually, I get hold of a copy of the soundtrack. I listen to it, and it’s a thing of beauty. A few Moby B-sides (cos he made the soundtrack), and a lot of Moby-style trance stuff, and a load of proper songs, one of which is a live version of Planet Telex by Radiohead.

And what does this remind me of? This reminds me of watching the biggest mindfuck of a film I’ve ever seen with J, both of us turning round at the same time, and saying to each other “what the fuck was that?!”, and us eventually deciding that it was a good film, but neither of us could work out why exactly.

I’ve seen the film since, seen it a few times now. And read the comics. And got the soundtrack. And whenever I come across something to do with it, I always get reminded of the bizarre feeling I shared with J that night, who was just as confused and entertained, and then confused again, as I was. I guess you had to be there

Another shallow and boring story. But hey, it’s my blog. I am under no obligation to entertain you, only myself. And sorry for it being shite, but I honestly clicked the “next” button in iTunes, and the live version of Planet Telex by Radiohead played (which is actually off Just CD2, which is the second CD single released for the song Just, off The Bends, fact fans). Honesty, it’s what I do.

Kind of

Tags: 30 Days of Music

Kevin Costner is underrated. IMHO etc. OK, so there was Waterworld (which wasn’t that bad, or gets points for being so bad it’s good at least), and The Postman (which was just weird). I know there’s others, but I can’t be fucked thinking of them. Anyways, the point is that he’s made some shite films. But by Christ, he was brave to even attempt them. I mean, he got kudos for making a Western when they weren’t being made any more (and he got an Oscar for his troubles, too). But that was a ballsy move. A 3 hour long Western that sides with the Indians. Not exactly a compelling argument to spend money to see it (although I did sleep with someone so I could watch it one Xmas, but that’s another story, which is possibly more tragic for all concerned).

Some actors have a way of turning something that sounds like a disaster on the page into a startling success on the screen (think of early De Niro roles; Taxi Driver, Mean Streets, arguably even The Godfather Part 2). I’d argue that Kevin Costner is blatantly not one of them. But he tries! He gives it his best shot each time. Puts his reputation and money on the line each time, and never phones it in. More than you can say of pretty much anyone in Hollywood these days (the obvious exception being Johnny Depp, who has managed to make a career out of making his every role a fucking weird one, and they all work).

All this is leading up to a film which Kevin Costner made which was risky as fuck, and was also very awesome, and which about six people on the planet have seen. It’s called Mr Brooks. It starts Costner as the Mr Brooks of the title; a dedicated family man, successful in business and life, who is also a serial killer. See? A brave role! He’s a dad and a husband and he slaughters people so he can crack one off. I doubt Liam Neeson would try this kind of role. Still with me? Right. William Hurt also stars as Mr Brooks’ murderous side of his split personality. You know, only Mr Brooks (and the audience) can see him or hear him, and he tries to convince Mr Brooks to go out killing again after giving it up for several years.

This being a film, of course, he does. After years and years of killing and getting away with it, he gets caught in the act by an amateur photographer played by Dane Cook (who is an asshole in the film, and may well be an asshole in real life, but at least in the film he’s meant to be one). The photographer witnesses the murder and gets a hard on, and so begins his mission to blackmail Mr Brooks to teach him how to get away with murder. While all this is going on, a driven and dedicated homicide detective (Demi Moore) is on Mr Brooks’s ass, but she’s also got another escaped serial killer on her ass too. And her husband is pushing for a divorce, because she is a multi-millionaire cop (weird, innit!).

OK, that’s enough spoiled. The film is a gripping serial killer thriller, but it’s not got much action. The suspense comes from all the different plot threads closing in on Mr Brooks, and wondering just how Brooks (and his split personality) is going to get out of all this intact. It’s a wonderful film which touches on a billions related subjects and pulls them all in perfectly. It’s riveting.

So, this here blog thing is about music that makes me sad. The film has this song in it, and it makes me sad, in a good way. Yes, I know I should have a song which makes me sad that has some other deeper meaning, but I don’t. I am a shallow man. And Mr Brooks is brilliant. And this song makes me sad until the end, when it gets awesome.

Tags: 30 Days of Music

This one will be easy.

I can never settle on music playing software on my PC. I keep trying Winamp, but it’s too fiddly and stuffed with a bajillion options. And I can never pick just one skin for it, I have to have forty eight on the go and choose between them every five minutes. Anyways, Windows Media Player is ok, but it looks a bit gash and I don’t trust the library function. It loses stuff. So does iTunes, to be fair, but I know iTunes inside out now. I can put up with it occasionally losing a song. Oh, and Songbird and MusicBee and all the other open source music apps – they all look the same. Does my head in.

So, fuck you for not asking, but I use iTunes. There. I said it. I feel better now. The point for all this is that, in any installation of iTunes I use, there will be a playlist. One playlist which is common to the PCs I use. Mostly it’s called “Friday night”, although on this PC it’s called “FUCK IT” (a self-motivational message that never loses its power over me). This playlist abandons the sometimes miserable, sometimes depressing music that I sometimes like to listen to. There won’t be any Interpol in there (although NYC is quite sweet). What this playlist does contain is the musical equivalent of kerosene – an explosive and volatile mixture which can raise my mood to the point where I leave the flat and get pissed with my pals.

It contains all sorts of weird and wonderful musical chemistry. The playlist is on random at the moment, so let’s click Next five times and see what it comes up with.

First off, Journey Of The Sorceror by The Eagles. This was the theme for the Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy TV show, and porbably the radio show too, and it popped up at the start of the movie too. It registers 10,000 rads on the Awesometer.

A click of “next” and I get Straight In At 101 by Los Campesinos! Not sure what to make of these. I loved The Sea Is A Good Place To Think Of The Future. I’m still waiting for the rest of the Romance Is Boring album to make a similar impact. Hasn’t yet. Fuck knows how it got into this playlist, actually. Must stop downloading music when drunk, I suppose. Onwards!

Ooooh, a fucking classic. The Test by The Chemical Brothers featuring Richard Ashcroft. Yes Richard, you are coming through, and it is sweet, and pure, and true. Love this. Again again!

Breakneck Speed by Tokyo Police Club. Not really heard this one yet. Got it off a blog somewhere, probably Stereogum. I liked Tokyo Police Club’s first album, Elephant Shell. In A Cave and Juno were superb. So I got this here song and eventually I will form an opinion. Up to now, it’s looking good. Last click!

Awwwww. Poor Leno by Royksopp. I must have heard the Melody AM album more than Royksopp. It was on heavy rotation in the Palace Terrace flat for a year. Anyway, it still manages to enhance my calm. And Poor Leno is ace. Pity the band didn’t go on to better things, really.

So there you go, a random taster of what is in my “EMERGENCY – PUSH THE RED BUTTON AND CHEER THE FUCK UP” playlist. Which neatly brings me to my choice of song what cheers me up. It’s one which keeps getting hunted down in that playlist and clicked relentlessly. It’s a stupid, stupid song, and that only endears it to me more. And I said that Royksopp hadn’t gone on to better things, when really THEY HAD! THIS SONG! Just this one, mind you. But it’s enough for me.

Yep, the one what I am going on about is Happy Up Here by Royksopp. I mean, there’s other songs that make me happy. A whole scutch of them. 1.2 days worth, according to iTunes. I’ve not mentioned Lemon Jelly, or We Are Scientists, 65daysofstatic, Phoenix, Mclusky, Doves; the list goes on. I’ve let my music down, and I’ve let myself down. But. But! Fuck it. Happy Up Here it is. Cos it always goes down smooth.

Happy Up Here from Röyksopp on Vimeo.

(and for bonus points! It’s The Hood Internet’s delightful mashup of Happy Up Here with Lil Wayne, because you’re worth it)

Tags: 30 Days of Music

What the fuck?! Least favourite song? Jeeeeebus.

OK, so I’m back to the same problem as I had with “your bestest song ever made ever innit”. How the fuck do you choose? I hate most of music. 99.99999% of it. Does nothing for me. That’s why I cherish the music that does something for me. It clearly stands out. The songs I like are hair-thin 400 mile long aerials sticking out of a planet made of shit. And you thought I couldn’t do imagery! Course I can. I just don’t do it often. And we’re back on topic in 5, 4, 3….

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. Possibly. Fuck, this must be easy for someone who hates a whole genre of music. “I hate rap, so anything that Jay-Z fella does, 99 Problems? That one”. Alas, my narrow tastes run horizontally through a broad spectrum of music. My church is short, but it spans the globe. So picking one genre is out for me.

…….godfuckingdamnit, that’s a lie. Folk music. Anything folky. Anything with a whiff of folk. It’s the one tenth of a micron gap in my spectrum. It’s the half-finished nave in my church. Fucking bastard folk. Warbling, acoustic, sitting on a fence in a meadow singing about God or cider or something, folk. Folk music. What kind of folk listens to folk music anyway? Folkers? Queer as Folk? Peter Folk?

Whatever I’ve heard of it, I’ve not liked. It’s something I can listen to and instantly reach for escape from. It’s like a long lost twin brother – I won’t know it’s name, but I’ll know it when I see it. Or hear it. It’s an unknown, because I won’t listen to it for long enough to know just exactly how much I detest it. Doves, one of my favourite bands, they like folk music. Good. If it somehow helps inspire something like The Last Broadcast, then they’re welcome to it. All of it. I’ll be as far away as possible from them, until they get what it is they need from it and twist and turn it into, I dunno, Kingdom of Rust I guess. Or maybe Sea Song.

So, I’ve found my genre. One that repulses me like no other. As for a folk song to be my least favourite song? Fuck it, you pick one. Any one. I will least favourite the shit out of it.

(just to be fair, I wrote the above, and then had a wander onto Wikipedia to make sure I wasn’t being too much of a tit for once. Apparently (and I’m sure I’ve heard this before a million times but I’ve never connected one with the other), Bob Dylan is a big name in folk music. Which is funny, because with the exception of Subterranean Homesick Blues, he’s a bit shit)

Tags: 30 Days of Music

I don’t have one.

Absolutely seriously don’t. The thing that’s been putting me off doing this 30 days of music thing the most is this question. No clue as to how to answer it. I mean, there’s infinite criteria. You could go on and on justifying one over another. I’ve been stuck picking a reason for picking one. But then…. A BREAKTHROUGH!

Music reminds me of stuff. When I remember something important in my life, most of those times have a song associated with it. I’m sure I’m not alone in this. So I’ve finally decided on picking a song which has the most positive associations with my own experiences.

I was going to go with Girl In The Fire by Pendulum, cos it’l always remind me of going to Glastonbury last year with my pals. There’s a bazillion stories relating to it which are probably only interesting to me and my pals, so I’ll keep quiet. On the way there and back, all we listened to in the car was the Kingdom of Rust album by Doves (with me changing my mind every ten minutes as to whether I liked the title track or not), and Girl In The Fire. Always played at ear-crushing volume, and always made us grin like Compo from Last of the Summer Wine on smack. Anyway, I was going to go with Pendulum, but I’m not.

After at least seven minutes of thinking on this subject, I’ve decided to go with Where Is My Mind by The Pixies. “But Benjamin”, you may or may not think to yourself, “you’re not even a fucking huge massive fan of The Pixies! You can only name two other songs of theirs, and that’s cos one was in Grosse Pointe Blank and the other had a pair of tits on the cover!” And you would be startlingly correct. However, that’s the song I’m going with, for several reasons, but here’s the three that are fit to print.

It’ll always remind me of Fight Club; of being roughly mind-fucked by Fincher, Pitt, Norton, Bonham-Carter, and Loaf, of seeing it in the piccies several times, of the girlfriend I had at the time, of conning my girlfriend at the time to see it, and of my bullshit story to her actually becoming true many years later.

It also reminds me of meeting someone else a long time afterwards, of learning the song on the guitar to impress her, of that actually working, of staying up late chatting and smoking and drinking red wine even though I fucking hate the stuff, of good times and bad times, and staying friends after it ended.

And finally, it’s just fucking ace.

[flashvideo file=FuckFuckFuck.flv /]

(also – Fight Club soap!)

Tags: 30 Days of Music

(blatantly stolen from love & zombies, via Kieron Gillen’s Workblog)

30 Days of Music

day 01 – your favorite song
day 02 – your least favorite song
day 03 – a song that makes you happy
day 04 – a song that makes you sad
day 05 – a song that reminds you of someone
day 06 – a song that reminds of you of somewhere
day 07 – a song that reminds you of a certain event
day 08 – a song that you know all the words to
day 09 – a song that you can dance to
day 10 – a song that makes you fall asleep
day 11 – a song from your favorite band
day 12 – a song from a band you hate
day 13 – a song that is a guilty pleasure
day 14 – a song that no one would expect you to love
day 15 – a song that describes you
day 16 – a song that you used to love but now hate
day 17 – a song that you hear often on the radio
day 18 – a song that you wish you heard on the radio
day 19 – a song from your favorite album
day 20 – a song that you listen to when you’re angry
day 21 – a song that you listen to when you’re happy
day 22 – a song that you listen to when you’re sad
day 23 – a song that you want to play at your wedding
day 24 – a song that you want to play at your funeral
day 25 – a song that makes you laugh
day 26 – a song that you can play on an instrument
day 27 – a song that you wish you could play
day 28 – a song that makes you feel guilty
day 29 – a song from your childhood
day 30 – your favorite song at this time last year

Fuck me, I’m gonna regret starting this bastard.

Tags: 30 Days of Music