All Skyrimmed Out
Too much of a good thing.
Posts Tagged ‘PC’
A Night To Remember
Damn you, Sam.
The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
FUS RO DAH!
Back from hols
A quick note about Skyrim.
Grand Theft Auto (all of ‘em)
Steam had a sale to celebrate the 10 year anniversary of GTA 3. The sale was for the entire collection of the main GTA games on PC for £5. I bought it before my brain had processed the signals my eyes received. Pure muscle reflex – anything GTA-related, I will buy it. I got Chinatown [...]
Tom Clancy’s Ghost Recon
I’m staring down the barrel of a sniper rifle. The rifle is aimed squarely at the eye socket of a guy in a dugout up a small incline. He doesn’t know I’m there. I know he is there, though. I’ve known he is there for ten years.
I made a video!
No prizes for guessing what it’s about.
Guess Who
Right, let’s play a game. I’ll show you a series of images, and you have to guess what game they’re from. Ready?
Juice Eggs: (Gary) Numan’s Rev Ablution
*** NO SPOILERS WHATSOEVER *** Deus Ex: Human Revolution has something that a first person shooter, or a third person shooter, hasn’t really had in a long time. It is called a learning curve. In order to play the game as it wants you to, and to maximise the XP gains as you play, you’ll [...]
Jew Sex: Human Revolution (again)
Something I love about DXHR is how some of the augments sound a bit shit, and you avoid them, and yet the creators have made at least one encounter in the game where a specific augment will make something fucking cool happen. For example, early in the game I got the “dual takedown” augment. Instead [...]
Deus Ex: Human Revolution
I’m 14 hours into the game, currently infiltrating a laboratory. I’m pompous enough to deliver a (half-arsed) verdict already. THINGS THAT ARE WRONG WITH DEUS EX: HUMAN REVOLUTION: Level design. More specifically, the hub level design. Detroit, Shanghai etc. In Detroit, in order to go from his apartment to the police station, Adam Jensen has [...]
Changed it
Got bored with the zombie look for this here site (a bit too emo for me, I guess). So I changed it. To this one. Fuck knows if anyone else but me even knows this site is here, but I’ve always been writing this for me anyways, so fuck it. I’ll make it look awesome [...]
Deus Ex
Since the sequel is upon us (and word of bloody good reviews is spreading on the net already), I thought I’d mod the original a bit and play it again. I had an old save from the last time I went near it, so I started at the bit where you are infiltrating what appears [...]
The Old Man Post
Things that are pissing me off right now: Games that make you grind to get any decent gear. Like, for example, Battlefield: Bad Company 2, which took me three nights to get to level 1 in multiplayer. Three fucking nights! To get to level one! And for my troubles, I got a machine gun that [...]
The dog ate my homework
So I’ve gone without the internet for months, due to an argument with my service provider. More accurately, my service withholder, but whatever. What’s a guy to do when he doesn’t have access to Warcraft and as much porn as his eyes can process? This guy played pretty much ever game he had installed (or [...]
The Witcher
I love The Witcher, and yet I hate it almost equally. I love how the characters and the game world are never less than charming, but I hate how the game makes me run across massive maps and then back, with all the loading that entails, just to hand in a quest. I love how [...]
Morrowind
Oblivion was an overrated scrotum, filled with big old boring balls (one of which sounds like Sean Bean, the other Patrick Stewart). Should have been called The Elder Scrolls: Blandia. Almost like Bethesda ran out of imagination, and just decided to make the next Elder Scrolls game as stereotypically fantasy as possible, if you see [...]
Windows
Windows is awesome. I mean, really. Could you imagine having to install today’s stuffed-DVD games in DOS? Would Valve have to make an OS2 Warp-compatible version of Steam? Windows lets you do all sorts of fancy PC shit all the time, and it’s ace. When it works. I’m one of them idiots that defends PC [...]
Mass Effect sounds better (possibly)
I don’t understand. The first Mass Effect game had an awesome soundtrack. Ambient, but aslo sci-fi-ish. Always in the background, but always tickling your aural pathways when it had to. And *** spoiler alert *** the ending song choice was fucking inspired. The second Mass Effect game had a soundtrack provided by some orchestra, and [...]
Time, Gentlemen, Please
I’m going to talk about the ending to this here game now, so this is going to be my first experiment with the “More” function of WordPress. I hope it works! (obviously, this post is one massive fuck off spoiler to Time, Gentlemen, Please, which is £3 on Steam and an absolute bargain and a [...]
Ben There, Dan That and Time Gentlemen, Please
(NOTE TO SELF: DON’T POST ON HERE WHEN DRUNK AGAIN!) Something I’ve always wanted to do was to make a game. Just a little one. One that I could be fairly proud of, one I could point to and happily state “I made that”. One genre of games I’ve rarely got along with is the [...]
Desktop Dungeons (part 2)
I’m drunk, so forgive me. Desktop Dungeons is one of the finest games I’ve played. Half RPG, half puzzler, half time sink, and half click-shit-and-it-will-die Diablo-a-like, the game is two halves too clever for it’s own good. And trust me, this is a good thing. I’ve been playing computer and video games (God bless Jaz [...]
Magicka
Ignore the fact that the game has a cracking sense of humour. Ignore the fact it looks gorgeous. Ignore the superb spell-casting gimmick, the gleefully chaotic co-operative gameplay, the ability to create your own problems and / or solutions. Ignore all of this. Instead, think about the fact that yet another independent studio has released [...]
EXCLUSIVE PREVIEW 2!
I’d intended to finish The Darkness last night, but Call of Shooty Duty appeared and made me giggle for a few hours. So here’s another preview of the EPIC MEGA POST that’s coming soon about The Darkness! Much like Jackie and his Darkness, I have a love / hate relationship with the game. Jackie loves [...]
Back to Minecraft
After an extended absence, I’ve played Minecraft again. Started a multiplayer server, was on it for a few hours last night with Tensing. Was weird to realise I wasn’t shooting virtual people in the virtual face, cos I’ve been playing Black Ops constantly. Things to note about my slight return: Zombies. They still be cunts. [...]
108 posts! And a video!
Yep, I’ve posted 108 rants about how shit games are. Amazing! I was bored rigid after the 4th! As I’m still not bored of being proud of being able to upload a video to YouTube (even though I’ve encoded it wrong so it’s got hideous black borders), here’s a link to a YouTube video I [...]
What Treyarch Got Right (and didn’t steal)
(well, I don’t remember seeing it on MW2, but I may be wrong) I think I’ve said this before on here, but I’ll say it again for the cheap seats – the multiplayer side of Black Ops pisses all over the multiplayer of Modern Warfare 2. It’s honed to perfection; the maps have much more [...]
Oddworld: Stranger’s Wrath
Don’t be put off by the shitty title. Don’t be put off by the association with Abe’s Odyssee and all them games if they weren’t your bag back in the day. Don’t be put off by the fact that this is a very lazy port of an old Xbox game (the original Xbox too, not [...]
Bioshock 2
Some thoughts on Bioshock 2, cos I just finished it 5 minutes ago. Spoilers will be liberally thrown all over this post. Whoever came up with the storyline is very clever, and possibly damaged in the head. I like how they’ve got past the “how do we top ‘Would you kindly?’ in this one?” by [...]
Desktop Dungeons
Although Desktop Dungeons takes its theme from RPGs, it’s actually closer to a strategy game. You pick a race and class, and begin in a randomised dungeon. You start at level 1, and you have to kill things to level up to take on the level 10 boss. However, when you start the dungeon, you [...]
Goldilocks and the three FPS games
Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 is too fast, and Battlefield: Bad Company 2 is too slow, but Call of Duty: Black Ops is just right.
Real Time Clickery
I’ve recently been replaying two real time strategy games (cos somehow I’ve lost my save games for both). Bear in mind, the last time I played one before these was probably the original Red Alert waaaaaaaay back when. And I was terrible at that, too. The two games I got are from the same developer, [...]
Call of Duty: Black Ops – random thoughts (PC)
How come games are still being released with crash bugs? How come games that have a budget of Russia are still being released with crash bugs? Why does the screen go mental yellow whenever I alt-tab out of the game? Can whoever does the Call of Duty games now please remove the “hunt for the [...]
SWAT 4, a proper write-up
SWAT 4 is hard. Proper hard. Difficult. Not easy. Each level is a situation where the normal Police can’t get in. You and your men have to get in, subdue all the criminals, subdue all the civilians, and generally make it all safe. You’re given a variety of tools and guns and grenades, you choose [...]
SWAT 4 in the modern age
If you want to play SWAT 4 on anything higher than DOS, bear in mind the following points: If you want to skip the intro movies, don’t mouse-click your way through them, press Esc instead. On my Windows 7 64-bit Home Premiumy PC, if I mouse-click though, the game crashes after the intro if you [...]
Plants, zombies, and a SWAT team
All games are based on you knowing something, and then acting on that knowledge. Board games such as Chess and Go give you all the information you need to make an educated decision; you can see every piece, you know all the rules, and you can predict the outcome of any given decision. Within reason, [...]
Dead Space
Hmmmmm. Tricky one. A game that is meant to be scary as fuck, which actually isn’t scary in the slightest, and is nearer to Resident Evil than anyone would care to admit, and yet I’m really liking it. I’ve not got very far, but it’s been very enjoyable up to now. Speaking of Resi Evil, [...]
Spam Effect
From: Ashley Williams Subject: Hiiiiiiiiiiii Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, it’s Ashley here, it was such a long time , how is it going with you there ? I heard that you got a new job, didn’t you? Is everything ok there ? Hey, can you believe it! I got married to Brian ! Yes I did. I tried [...]
Mapcraft 2 – The Embiggening
I’ve had a couple of blog posts in my head for a while now, and I am promising myself that I will actually type them up at some point. Until then, the awesome filler that is…. MINECRAFT ESCAPADES! Here’s the new map. Looks a bit different to the old one cos the Cartograph program has [...]
Mapcraft
Fucking look at this! It is fucking amazing. Thanks to the powers of Cartograph, this is a (vastly cut down) annotated piccy of my current Minecraft world. It’s vastly cut down cos I went exploring in a boat a while back and the map is now huge but I’ve only made stuff on a small [...]
Fable 2.1
(specifically, Knothole Island and See The Future DLC) I’ve started Knothole Island. Don’t know how, but I seem to have deleted my “good character” save game, so I’m doing this as my evil bastard. The one who ended Fable 2 (spoilers etc) by getting a fuckton of cash and leaving the dog in doggie heaven. [...]
Mass Effect – ur doin it wrong
According to Wired and Gamasutra, Jennifer Hale’s performance as the female Commander Sheppard is better than Mark Meer’s performance as the male Commander Sheppard, and players who pick a male Sheppard are missing out. I think there’s a contradiction between the two articles – the Wired piece ties in to the user data Bioware released [...]
Minecraft – part 3
Bad news. The game crashed, and it deleted a quarter of my beloved castle. Good news! I rebuilt most of it. Bad news. There’s a section of moat which I can’t ever rebuild; every time I try, I reload the game and it’s gone. Good news! Fuck moats. It’s a wall, with a rollercoaster track [...]
Minecraft – the gamey parts
Minecraft (the paid-for, survival, proper game version) has several borrowed mechanisms at its core. There’s the resource gathering and management, which is in every game ever (although the implementation is probably closest to RTS games like Command & Conquer, Dune II, Warcraft 1 & 2 etc). Construction is taken from Lego (I’m sure there’s other [...]
Minecraft – my server!
I forgot to post this! Je suis une idiote. http://www.minecraft.net/play.jsp?ip=87.254.83.149&port=25565 That be my server. It isn’t on all the time, but I’ll be on there when it is running. From now on. Woot! This is also a reminder for me to see what Tom wrote in the water, cos he did amusing stuff last night [...]
Minecraft part 2
Last time round, I said I was going to show you the mining part. One thing about Minecraft – just playing around in it gives you ideas on what to do next. I loaded it up with the intention of doing screenshots of the caves, but then I thought that my house was looking a [...]
Minecraft
I was going to do a big thing on Minecraft, about how it’s definitely a game, but it also encourages creativity within the game space like nothing I’ve ever seen, and I was going to add all sorts of buzz words that I would make up to sound like I know what I’m talking about [...]
Why Things Go Wrong In World Of Warcraft
“Well, the healer is tanking, the tank is doing DPS, the other healer isn’t actually healing anyone and we’re all fucking dead”
Beaters
I’ve got into two betas at the moment. The games in question rhyme with Greed for Tweed* and Pedal of Goner*. I’ve put an hour into the Swede for Steed beta, and it’s kinda what you think it would be like. Big ass city you can tear around, queue for races with other players (or [...]
Realisation part 2
Last agency mission in Just Cause 2. I accept it, and it says I’m finally going to kill that bastard Baby Panay. I’ll need the help of one of the three factions, so I should choose one to help me in the end game….. THREE factions?! There’s two! There’s only ever been two! I check [...]
Realisation
Imagine the pre-credits sequence of any James Bond film. Imagine playing it in a game; every last-second dive from a falling car, every lazy parachute gliding away from an explosion, everything that made the first five minutes of James Bond movies awesome, all done by button presses that you made happen. That’s Just Cause 2, [...]
More Just Cause 2
Sandbox games usually have a problem – they tend to need to appear realistic and grounded, and yet they also need to enable the player to go over the top and be excessive. A dichotomy, if you will (checks dictionary.com; that’ll do). Grand Theft Auto 4 leaned heavily towards realism; if you wanted to go [...]
Just Cause 2
In between doing all sorts of daft shit in World of Warcraft, I’ve finally managed to get stuck into Just Cause 2. Just Cause 2 is a game in which the following things are guaranteed to happen (and not necessarily in this order): You see a car go past, and with one button press your [...]
This week, I have mostly been playing….
…. fuck all. OK, WoW has been the only thing I’ve played for ages now. Level 78, don’t’cha know? Also, other stuff. And I’m still gagging to get my teeth into Just Cause 2 properly, and Sins of a Solar Empire, and the other bajillion games I’ve recently bought for £4 each which are sitting [...]
What I’ve Been Playing
World of Warcraft. Lots of it. Heaps. Tons. Stacks. I’ve been riding the wave of obsession / apathy towards the game since I started playing; I’ll obsess over it for a few months, get bored and leave it for a few months, rinse and repeat. I was finally talked into going back due to a [...]
WoW + Pandi = comedy gold
“don’t start that healer shit you twat or I’ll kick ya now hurry up” “oh dear you died lol” repeat until fade I sometimes forget why I started playing WoW. After all, it can be a bit shallow and repetitive. The main reason I like it is that guild chat is essentially a chat room. [...]
Counter-Strike: Source, now with added TF2
Had a nice little surprise when I fired up Steam this evening – there’s a new beta version of Counter-Strike:Source available. After installing it, I had a little trouble with the graphics settings, and the mouse settings, and I’d forgotten how to buy weapons and armour, but all that was swiftly resolved. MP5 in hand [...]
PRIVATES!
http://www.zombie-cow.com/?page_id=807
WoW vs TF2 – FIGHT! (kind of)
I’m going to let you into a secret. Ready? Team Fortress 2 is the first person shooter equivalent of World of Warcraft. This isn’t opinion here. This is scientific fact. Kind of. TF2 is as close as you are going to get in the FPS stylee for now (not counting the horrible and practically unplayable [...]
For the record
Hello! For the record, I’ve not turned this blog into a linkdump. I’m merely waiting for inspiration to strike. I’m also waiting to break in my new keyboard, so that it actually types what I want it to, and not the general mash of keys my fat fingers aim at. For anyone who gives a [...]