Posts Tagged ‘Xbox 360’

Grand Theft Auto (all of ’em)

Steam had a sale to celebrate the 10 year anniversary of GTA 3. The sale was for the entire collection of the main GTA games on PC for £5. I bought it before my brain had processed the signals my eyes received. Pure muscle reflex – anything GTA-related, I will buy it. I got Chinatown […]

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Gears of War 3

Where people with no necks shoot things and cry a bit.

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The dog ate my homework

So I’ve gone without the internet for months, due to an argument with my service provider. More accurately, my service withholder, but whatever. What’s a guy to do when he doesn’t have access to Warcraft and as much porn as his eyes can process? This guy played pretty much ever game he had installed (or […]

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Oblivion was an overrated scrotum, filled with big old boring balls (one of which sounds like Sean Bean, the other Patrick Stewart). Should have been called The Elder Scrolls: Blandia. Almost like Bethesda ran out of imagination, and just decided to make the next Elder Scrolls game as stereotypically fantasy as possible, if you see […]

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Deadly Premonition, again again

22 hours. 22 glorious hours of being immersed in madness. 22 hours of a sometimes sublime, sometimes retarded Japanese to American translation; not just the text, but the setting too. 22 hours of a plot that starts off barmy, passes through stupid and certifiable, and ends up at charming. 22 hours, and it’s just not […]

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Deadly Premonition, again

I’ve restarted this game three times now. The furthest I’ve got is about a quarter of the way in. I think I’ve figured out enough (and read enough walkthroughs) to know what the score is. I should be able to do it all on this playthrough. Most games these days are concerned with something called […]

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Deadly Premonition

Things I love about Deadly Premonition: The main character is schizophrenic. And in the FBI. And he openly talks to the voice in his head. And one person in the entire game mentions this. The main character (the schizophrenic FBI agent), while investigating a grisly murder in a little town, gets a major clue from […]

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Mass Effect sounds better (possibly)

I don’t understand. The first Mass Effect game had an awesome soundtrack. Ambient, but aslo sci-fi-ish. Always in the background, but always tickling your aural pathways when it had to. And *** spoiler alert *** the ending song choice was fucking inspired. The second Mass Effect game had a soundtrack provided by some orchestra, and […]

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Read this. That’s Richard Clark at Gamasutra, arguing about how the game industry hasn’t matured yet and won’t while games like Bulletstorm are being made. Why the fuck does the game industry need to mature? It’s a business. If the immature games are still selling, then for fuck’s sakes keep making them. Leave the mature, […]

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The Darkness

(was meant to be playing Magicka last, but the multiplayer side of it is bugged to fuck, and I don’t want to spoil it by hoofing through the single player, so I had chance to finish The Darkness and finish this monster post too, so here it is) The ace thing about having a blog […]

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I’d intended to finish The Darkness last night, but Call of Shooty Duty appeared and made me giggle for a few hours. So here’s another preview of the EPIC MEGA POST that’s coming soon about The Darkness! Much like Jackie and his Darkness, I have a love / hate relationship with the game. Jackie loves […]

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This is an EXCLUSIVE PREVIEW of the next post I’m going to type up. Remember, this is EXCLUSIVE; you won’t see this ANYWHERE ELSE on the internet, cos it is MINE. Ready? Here goes! The Darkness is a game for the Xbox 360 that assumes you like listening to things, rather than seeing things or, […]

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Fable 3


The Star Wars trilogy (don’t you dare ask which one, there is only one Star Wars trilogy damnit) can be reduced to the following items:

Star Wars: Bright happy (mostly) universe, bad man messes with the wrong boy, universe is angry, universe and wrong boy beat bad man

Empire Strikes Back: Less bright happy universe, bad man gets badder, bad things happen, not a happy ending

Return of the Jedi: The Care Bears Movie (with happy ending all round)

I haven’t played Fable 1, so it clearly doesn’t count. OK, that’s a lie – I’ve played it for about half an hour, but it hasn’t aged well, and I didn’t like it. The important point to take from this is that “it doesn’t count”.

So! We’ll begin with Fable 2.

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Every Extend Extra Extreme

….which is possibly my favourite game title of all time, but I digress. Every Extend Extra Extreme (or E4 as I’ll now call it) on the Sexbox 360 is good and bad. My favourite game mode is the default, time limited mode. You’re given 3 minutes to get as high a score as possible. You […]

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